Holding On and Letting Go
by ButterflyGirl89
Summary: Jo's friends asked her why she adopted a kid after her divorce,why not just rebound? What if it was because Jo felt guilty about the child she gave up for adoption years ago,a girl who's living in NY city,who's life is in danger. Can the team save her?
1. Chapter 1

**This is my second attempt at a CSI story. Being a huge Jo Danville fan it is based on her again. My thanks go to anyone who gives this story a shot. **

**Summary: All Jo Danville's friends asked her why she adopted a kid after her divorce, why not just rebound, go wild spending money? What if it was because Jo felt guilty about the child she gave up years ago for adoption. A girl who is living in New York city and who witnesses a crime, committed by two very, very dangerous violent men, that Jo and the team have been trying to put away, linking them to multiple homicides. Jo and the team find themselves having to protect her from the men, but at what cost. **

**Chapter 1.**

Jo Danville tossed and turned in her bed. It was 3am on a cold winters night but her body was drenched in perspiration. She shot up in bed, the sound of a baby's cries seemed to echo around her. She put her hands over her ears and closed her eyes tight, stayed that way for a moment then moved them away. The cries had stopped, it was silent, _as silent as New York could be. _

She got up and walked over to her bedroom window. She pulled it open and leant out and took in three big gulps of cold air. She remained leaning out of the window, watching the city beneath her apartment. It still amazed her that New York was almost as busy at this time of the morning as it was mid-day.

All around her she could hear police sirens, car horns honking. and far, far off in the distant…a gunshot.

~0~0~0~0~

Across town a girl was running as fast as she could. Her apartment, _or what she liked to call the shoe-box_, was just five minutes away…but in the other direction. She could hear tires screech as they rounded the corner she had just turned at. She was out of breath now, the winters air seemed to stab at the back of her throat.

She turned into an alley and stumbled forward, almost falling flat on her face. She steadied herself and continued up the alley. She heard the car turn, heard it struggle up the alley behind her, crashing into trash cans and big dumpsters. Her heart fell out of her butt when she saw the metal gates just ahead, _it was the only way out of the alley. _

She ran faster towards the gate and jumped, she grabbed hold of it half way up it. She pulled her body up it, clinging onto the fence as best she could. She tried to slip her petite frame under the barb-wire at the top. She cried out in pain as it ripped into her flesh, scraping across her lower back, her shoulders and her scalp.

She heard a gunshot ring out and felt like she had been kicked off the gate as a bullet slammed into her. She landed in an open dumpster and cried out in pain, writhed in agony as her blood spilled out around her.

She heard two car doors open, then slam shut. Heard a voice say. "Bitch fell into the dumpster, finish her."

She quickly pushed herself up and dove out of the dumpster. She ran along the side of the dumpsters, trying to hide from the shower of bullets that rang out around her, buried themselves into the dumpsters, another into her body. She screamed and barely managed to stay on her feet, but somehow she did. She ducked out of the alley and ran across the street. She ran towards the first building she saw, the New York Police Department.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo walked into the hospital and met Mac who was stood waiting for her. "Have you spoke to her yet?" she asked him.

"Yeah. She witnessed the shooting. The description of the killers she gave is a match to our other witness statements. Our killers got sloppy this time, she got away before they could kill her. We can prove its them, we just have to find these sons-a-bitches."

"How's she doin?" Jo asked.

"She was bleeding badly when she got into the precinct. They found two gun shot wounds on her, not to mention deep lacerations on her back and scalp. "

"Good lord, that poor girl." Jo said as they came to a stop by her room, where an armed officer stood.

Mac gently grabbed Jo's arm and guided her back, away from the room slightly. Jo looked at the officer and found he was staring at her. "Mac, what's going on?" she asked.

"I need to warn you about something." he said.

"What?" Jo asked, laughing nervously. Mac looked at her without saying a word, finally she had to hit his arm, "Mac!" she said with an equally nervous smile. "What's going on?" she asked more forcefully.

"The girl in that room…she is the spitting image of you. When I walked in I almost thought it was you." he said. "Just a younger you."

Jo looked at him and he could see she looked confused. She shook her head and walked over to the door. She hesitated for a half a second before she opened the door and took a step inside. She couldn't see the girl due to the nurse who was standing in front of her, changing the girls IV.

It was only when the nurse stepped aside that Jo saw the girl and the she saw Jo. Jo looked at her wide eyed and mouth open. The girl had the same length, same colour hair as she did. It was slightly wavy, the way Jo's would go if she didn't straighten it. She had the same eyes, same colour. Same nose, same chin…

Jo had to step back out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. She took off down the corridor, walking so fast that Mac struggled to catch up to her. "Jo, Jo! Jo, what is it?" he said when he finally caught up to her, stopping her in her tracks.

Jo could only look him in the eyes. She suddenly heard a baby's cries again. She closed her eyes as a memory flashed before her eyes…

_Jo cried out in pain as she pushed as hard as her exhausted body would allow her. Finally she felt that it was all over, the pushing could stop. She lay flat against the hospital bed and struggled to get her breath back as the room was filled with a helpless cry. _

"_It's a girl." a nurse informed her._

_Jo sat up and saw the baby in the nurses arms. She closed her eyes as exhaustion threatened to consume her. When she opened her eyes again the nurse was lowering the baby into her arms. Jo had to move quick to ready herself. The nurse took a step back leaving Jo to look down at her child, her newborn daughter who immediately began to soothe in her mothers arms. _

_She looked at the baby's dark hair, her eyes, her nose, her chin. There was no way Jo could disown this baby, she looked exactly like her. Yet disowning her was what she was about to do. She looked up when she heard a knock on the door. A woman in a suit stepped into the room. _

_She looked over at Jo, holding her baby. "Do you want me to take her?" she asked Jo. _

_Jo looked down at the baby in her arms. The baby was looking up at her as if memorizing her face. Don't do that, thought Jo. She felt her bottom lip began to tremble as tears stung her eyes. She looked back up at the woman and nodded. _

_She then looked back down at her baby. She barely heard the woman's heel tapping against the linoleum floor as she walked towards her. Jo lifted the baby in her arms up and placed a soft loving kiss on her forehead. It was almost impossible for her to pull her lips away. When she did that would be it, she would pass the baby to the social worker and she would never see her again. _

_Jo pulled her lips away from her daughters forehead and forced back tears as she took one last look at her now sleeping baby. She kissed her again before she passed her to the social worker. _

_She had to look away as the social worker walked across the room towards the door, taking the baby with her. "Wait!" Jo cried out. _

_Both the nurse and the social worker looked at Jo. Jo hesitated, choking back tears before she said, "Her name is Elizabeth." _

_The social worker smiled and nodded and said, "You're sure you still want to go through with this, Jo?"_

_Jo nodded, replied, "I have no choice."_

"_You're doing the right thing." the social worker said before she turned and left the room. _

_Jo tried to believe what she had just said, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't. She brought her hands up to her face and hid behind them as her tears began to fall, she could force them or her sobs back no longer. _

Jo looked up at Mac as she felt him place his hand on her side. "Jo, speak to me." he said to her.

Jo could only remain silent. She felt like this was all some dream, just like the dreams she had been having for the last few weeks. The dreams about the baby girl she had given up for adoption _soo_ many years ago.

"Jo, please tell me what's going on?" Mac asked, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Mac, I think that she's my daughter." Jo told him.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please leave a review, let me know what you think. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added an alert and things to this story. It was fantastic to see so many people had chose to read. **

**Here's chapter 2, hope you enjoy. Parts in italics are flashbacks. Sorry if it seems to be moving a little slow for the first few chapters, the pace will pick up as the real action starts setting in. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**Chapter 2**

Jo had taken the time to get her thoughts organised and her mind clear before she had gone back into the hospital room. _Mac had persuaded her to go in alone. He was going back to the lab. _With shaking hands she hesitated at the door, closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she pushed it open.

The nurse had since left and so the girl was sat alone on the bed. As soon as Jo saw her lying there her mind raced back to that day at the hospital. The day she had given her up.

_It was later in the evening when Jo had been allowed to go home. She didn't have a newborn so there was no reason for her to have to stay in the hospital. She had changed into some clothes, filled out all the necessary paperwork and was now walking down the quiet, lonely corridor. The nurse who had delivered the baby had wanted to escort her out but Jo had refused, had given the nurse a look that said don't argue with me. _

_She got to the main doors and they opened up for her with a cheery ding. Cheery was the last thing she felt like. She felt miserable and suddenly incomplete. She stepped out of the hospital and walked across the car park. It was late, gone eleven and outside it was dark and cold. She wrapped her worn coat tighter around her, for what little warmth it offered. She looked down at her wrist, at the band around her, her patient ID. She pulled as hard as she could on it until it snapped off. She looked at it, she wanted to throw it away but she just couldn't bare the thought of throwing anything else away. She stuffed it into her pocket and began walking home, just as the rain began to pour, soaking right through her coat…_

Jo came out of her thoughts to see the girl looking at her. "I'm Detective Jo Danville." she said, hesitating like the girl would say something to it.

It suddenly occurred to Jo how everyone, including herself, kept referring to her as the _girl_. If this really was Jo's daughter she wasn't a girl, she was almost 23 but she looked so young. There was hardly any fat on her, she was just a bag of bones. She seemed dwarfed by the large bed she was lay on. Jo found herself looking at her, memorizing her face. _It hadn't changed._

The _girl _suddenly spoke, snapping Jo to attention. "Look, like I told that other cop, I saw nothing or no one."

Jo was a little shocked by how strong the girls New York accent was, she'd obviously lived here long enough to pick it up. "Maybe you could tell me you name, Detective Taylor said you would tell him?" she asked.

"So why would I tell you?"

"You don't have to but I'm going to continue talking to you for a while and I'd like to have something to call you."

The girl looked at her for a while, as if looking her over, considering whether or not to trust her. "Beth…Elizabeth Meyers." she replied.

Jo sighed upon hearing the girls name. She just knew this was her daughter and although she had gave the social worker a name all those years ago she never expected the name would be made official. "You can call me Jo." she replied.

Beth nodded like she wasn't really paying attention. She tried to sit up but Jo saw the struggle she was having, saw the pain it was causing her. She dashed over to the bed and tried to help her sit up. She helped her to sit upright and made her a little more comfier by fixing the pillows. When she seemed ok Jo pulled up a chair and sat down in it next to the bed.

"How long have you lived in New York?" she asked Beth.

Beth shrugged, "My whole life I guess. I can't remember living anywhere else?"

"Do you live with your parents?" she asked.

Beth looked at her, a little confused by her questions but she answered anyway. "I live alone, just a couple of blocks from here."

Jo's heart sank. She looked at Beth, looked at her eyes, she saw sadness, loneliness. "You seem a little young to live alone. Where are you parents?"

"I'm almost 23, I just look young, and I don't have any parents or other family for that matter. I've been in the foster care system since I was 2, when my adopted parents were killed in a car crash. I was put into the system because there was no one else who wanted to take care of me."

"You've been in the system all that time?" Jo asked her, guilt tugging at her.

"I got out when I was 15. Got a job, lived in some old lady's basement for a few years. Then she died and her kid sold the house so I had to move out. Lived on the streets for a while, that was fun!" she said sarcastically. "I managed to get a job in a diner, I work there in the day and a in bar at night. It pays the bills…barely."

Jo found herself struggling to keep it together, she was completely wracked with guilt. She had to swallow hard before she could ask, "Do you not have any friends you can stay with? A boyfriend maybe?"

"I get 7 hours a day to myself. In that time I have to sleep and wash and, when I can afford it, eat. I don't have friends and I certainly don't have a boyfriend." Beth told her.

Jo looked at Beth for a moment before she asked, "Can you tell me what happened at the shooting you witnesses?" Jo asked, wondering how she had come to be involved.

"Look, I told that other cop, I'm not telling anyone else. I got shot because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and I saw what they did. If they find out I've spoken to the cops then they _will_ kill me."

"And if you don't speak to us then more people could get killed."

Beth shook her head at Jo as she pushed herself up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "You're the cop, it's your job to protect people, not mine."

Jo watched as Beth climbed out of the bed. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm leaving." Beth told her as she limped over to a chair in the corner of her room where a nurse had left a pair of scrubs for her to change into.

"Sweetheart, you can't leave. You need to be here where the doctors and nurses can keep an eye on you." Jo said.

"Yeah, and where those guys can find me, I don't think so!" she snapped at her.

Jo watched her limp back over to the bed, thanks to the bullet graze wound on her leg, carrying the scrubs. "You wanna turn around!" Beth snapped at Jo, wanting privacy.

Jo turned her back to her but wasn't about to give up trying to persuade her to stay at the hospital. "You'know the guard outside your room is armed."

"I don't care." Beth said as she pulled the shirt on. She had to stop to study the bandage on her hip. The first bullet that had knocked her off the gate had been a through and through. Luckily it had just travelled through flesh, _the little flesh that she actually had. _A few inches to the side and it would have been a different story. Unable to look at it anymore, Beth pulled the shirt down, concealing the evidence of the nights events.

"If your frightened then we can put you in a safe house." Jo told her.

"No!" Beth said so sharply Jo had to turn to face her. "No, homes. I've spent enough of my life in homes. I'm not going in another one. I just wanna go back to my apartment." she told her as she pulled the trousers on.

"We can put officers outside your apartment building." Jo said to her.

"Oh my God, don't you get it! I don't want anything from you or any other cop for that matter! You can't protect me from the people who did this."

"Why? Why don't you trust the police?" Jo asked her, walking round the bed to stand next to her.

Beth dodged around her, needing space between them. It made her feel too nervous to be that close to someone, especially someone who looked so similar. "I don't trust anyone." she said as she limped around the room, looking for something. "Where are my shoes!" she yelled frantically.

"They're at the crime lab. They're evidence." Jo told her.

"They're shoes! And the only God-damn pair I have." Beth said before she slumped down on the bed, wincing at the pain it caused her.

"Look, if you're not going to stay here then I need to know someone is going to be able to come to your apartment to take care of you." Jo said to her.

"You'know for a CSI or whatever you are, you don't pay much attention." Beth said, "I have no one, remember."

"If you like…I could call in and check on you?" Jo said, a little shakily.

Beth looked at her and shook her head, it wasn't to say no but more confusion, "Why do you care?" she asked. Before Jo had chance to answer Beth said, "Wait, it's because I'm your star witness, but as soon as you have your killer, I'll get dumped and forgotten about."

"That's not what happens." Jo said to her.

"That's exactly what happens. That's what happened when my parents were killed. I got forgotten about and dumped in some shitty kids home, passed around from pillar to post. Met some real nice people, some grade A parents." she said sarcastically. "The system doesn't give a shit who they throw you in with, and police give an even lesser shit." she snapped bitterly.

She climbed down off the bed and walked over to the door. "You can't walk home, you have no shoes." Jo pointed out to her.

Beth looked down at her feet and immediately saw Jo's point. She turned to face her and said, "No shoes is the least of my problems."

Jo could only look at her. She wasn't about to let her walk the streets of New York barefoot.

~0~0~0~0~

Even though the Doctors had all protested Beth had left the hospital anyway. Jo had insisted on giving her a lift to her apartment, even though Beth had tried over and over to tell her she didn't want one.

At her apartment Beth had climbed out of the car and had began making her way towards her building when she realised Jo was following her. "Thanks for the lift and everything but I'm not inviting you in for coffee….mostly because I don't have any." Beth said as she grabbed her keys out of her scrubs pocket.

"I'd like to come in to check everything is okay." Jo said.

Beth turned to face her and saw the determined look on her face. "You're not gonna leave until I saw yes, are you?"

Jo smiled and shook her head. Beth rolled her eyes and turned and unlocked the door to her building. Jo had to take a quick look at the place before she stepped inside. It was a mess and looked like it needed to be closed and condemned not lived in.

Jo followed after Beth who was walking across the lobby. Jo noticed a lift and so wondered why Beth was walking towards the stairs, surely the lift was easier for her. "Would it not be easier to take the lift?"

Beth stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned to face Jo. "The last person to use that lift was Mrs Baker from 3B…she got out a day later." Beth smiled at her and then began making her way up the stairs.

Jo glanced at the lift and immediately stepped away from it and followed after Beth who had only made it up a few steps. Jo could tell she was in pain and that this climb was going to be a struggle for her to make. "What floor do you live on?" she asked her.

"The top." Beth said, sounding exhausted just from saying it.

"Here, put your arm around my shoulders." Jo said to her as she carefully placed her arm around Beth's waist. Immediately Beth pulled away and glared at her.

"I can do this myself." she said.

"I'm sure you can." Jo agreed, " but at this rate it will take us all night to get upstairs. The quicker we get to your apartment, and I check it out, the quicker you get rid of me." Jo said with an encouraging smile.

Beth looked back at her and had to stop herself from smiling back. "Fine."

Jo smiled at Beth as she placed her arm around her waist again and Beth placed her arm around Jo's shoulders so she could take most of her weight for her.

~0~0~0~0~

It was just under ten minutes later when they reached Beth's apartment. Jo could feel her shaking from exhaustion and she guessed pain. "Lets get you inside." she said to her, taking the key from Beth so she could unlock the door.

Jo unlocked the door and pushed it open, straight away she wanted to close it and take Beth away from this place.

Beth pulled away from Jo and stepped into her home, _if it could even be classed as a home_. Jo stepped through the doorway and found herself studying every inch of the tiny open planned flat. The kitchen was simply one large cupboard, a shelf and a cooker that looked like it wasn't even hooked up. There was an old fridge that seemed to be buzzing, _loudly. _

The living room was right beside the kitchen and consisted of just a couch a rug and an old coffee table that was scratched to hell. There was a lamp on it that had no lamp-shade. There was a small cot in the corner of the room and a small wardrobe with one door hanging off and not much inside. Jo could see a door on the far wall that she presumed led to the bathroom.

Beth turned and had to laugh at the look on Jo's face. "I can tell you like the place." Beth said sarcastically as she walked over to the bed and sat down.

Jo wandered further inside, shutting the door behind her. She wanted to say something but she couldn't. She'd seen squat houses in better shape than this place. She walked over to the bathroom and opened it up, just checking that no one was hiding in there. "Well there's clearly no one here." Jo said to Beth, stepping back out of the bathroom.

She turned to face Beth who was now lay down on the bed, fast asleep. Jo smiled and walked over to the couch. She could see a blanket over the back of it. She grabbed it and walked over to Beth. She gently threw the blanket over her. She crouched down next to the bed and just watched as Beth slept, breathing softly.

She reached up and brushed some of Beth's hair back off her face before brushing her hand gently over her cheek. "Sleep sweet, honey." she whispered to her before she pushed herself up and walked over to the front door.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo arrived at the crime lab sometime later. _She couldn't stop thinking about Beth. _It was still early hours of the morning and so most people still had yet to arrive to work at the lab. Jo was heading for her office when Mac called her into his.

She walked in and he could instantly see how drained she looked. "Have you come straight from Beth's place?" he asked.

Jo nodded as she sat down opposite him. "I wasn't leaving until the protection detail arrived. Even then I couldn't seem to pull myself away." she said.

For a moment Mac just watched her as she stared silently at nothing in particular. Then he spoke. "I had her DNA tested, compared it to yours…" Mac said.

Jo looked at him, desperate for his answer, she needed him to confirm what her heart was telling her.

"She's your daughter, Jo." he told her.

Jo sat back in the chair and let what he had said register in her head. She began nodding as tears began to build in her eyes. Unable to stop herself she burst into sobs. She quickly put her hands over her face, not really wanting Mac to see her crying, but Mac immediately stood up and walked around his desk to her. He reached down and pulled her to her feet before he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against him. He could feel her body shaking in his arms as her tears continued to fall.

~0~0~0~0~

Outside Beth's apartment, in a black and tinted windowed SUV, sat a dark haired handsome man. He was parked behind a van but as he looked out of his window he could see a car further down the road. He knew it was an unmarked cop car.

He looked up at Beth's apartment, knowing which was hers. Had spent many a night in it with her, getting great pleasure from her. He was here now for a different reason altogether. To simply check out what protection she had. He sighed loudly, he liked Beth, not only was she a great little fuck, she was also the best barmaid he had at the bar. Still, she had witnessed something, become involved in something she should have. As he turned the engine on he thought about how much of a shame it was he would have to get rid of her.

He wasn't going to kill her tonight, but soon…_He had to, she was too big a risk to keep around…_

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please review. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews guys, really appreciate them.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**Chapter 3**

Jo was sat with Mac on the comfy chairs in his office. She had a nice hot cup of tea in her hands and had now stopped crying, feeling slightly embarrassed for having done so in the first place. The lab had now filled with more employees and so Jo wasn't ready to go out yet. Her face was stained with tears and she didn't want to appear that way in front of the people who relied on her to be strong, _a leader._

"You should see where she's living, Mac. It's a mess, I kept thinking the stairs were gunna collapse beneath us, and inside her apartment is no better. She has maybe three pieces of furniture. I gave her up because I had nothing to offer her, yet nothing it what she has now. Maybe if I'd just kept her…"

"Jo, _maybe's_ are no good. You gave her up then and you can't go back to change it, so just change it now, as it is. Be there for her now, give her what you can now that you couldn't then."

"I just feel so darn guilty when I see her. When I had her, I was living in an apartment not much different from hers. I was working two jobs, like her, just to pay the bills and keep the roof over my head but I still had so much more than she does."

Mac placed his hand on Jo's, letting her know he was there for her. "If anyone can make what happened to her last night a good thing, a new chance at life, it's you, Jo."

Jo looked at him, knowing he was right. "What should I say to her?" Jo asked, she had never felt so lost and confused.

"You could start by telling her you're her mother." Mac said with an encouraging smile.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo climbed out of her car, carrying a shopping bag. She was walking up to Beth's building when her phone began to ring. She reached into her pocket and pulled it out. "Jo Danville." she answered.

"Jo, it's Mac. Where are you?" he asked.

"Outside Beth's building. Is everything ok?" she asked him.

Mac was sat behind his desk, his phone pressed to his ear as he studied the screen in front of him. "Not really. Jo, it's about Beth. I just pulled her police record."

"She has a record?" Jo asked in disbelief.

"Yes. It could explain why she is so reluctant to talk to us." Mac decided.

"What's she been involved in."

"It's not pretty, Jo."

"Mac, tell me." Jo begged

~0~0~0~0~

Beth was sat on the couch reading a book when there was a knock on the door. She pushed her aching body up and limped over to the door. "Who is it?" she asked, not willing to open the door till she knew.

"It's Detective Jo Danville." Jo said, her tone a little sharp. "Let me in, Beth."

Reluctantly Beth opened the door and walked away from it as Jo walked in. "I thought I said I didn't want you to come by to check on me…and don't think I didn't noticed that unmarked cop car down there." Beth said, sitting down on the window sill that led onto the fire escape. "It sticks out like a sore thumb!"

"What's the matter, Beth, afraid we might catch you doing something you shouldn't be?" Jo asked.

Beth looked at her, confused. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"You didn't tell me you had such a colourful police record." Jo said as she walked right up to her. "Theft, break in and entering, assault and the assault of a police officer, prostitution, drugs!" Jo yelled as she grabbed Beth's arms and pushed her sleeve up.

"What the hell are you doing?" Beth yelled back at her, slapping Jo's arms away and moving away from her as quick as her body would allow. Having to hold her side because of the pain the quick movements caused to it.

"Looking for track marks!" Jo said, following her, as tears stung her eyes. "Don't try to deny it!"

"I've not denied a thing, you just never asked!"

"I had no idea I had to!"

"Because all you were concerned about is getting your perp!"

"No…." Jo began.

"Yes!" Beth shouted back at her. "So what, you go back to your lab, do some digging on me and realise I have a past? Yeah, I stole. I hit a cop because he pinned me down and stuck his hand between my legs in the back of a police car after he arrested me and I broke into empty buildings to get out of the snow, the hail, the rain…and I slept with men to get money because I was starving to death. I'm not proud of my past. It makes my skin want to crawl off of my body just to think about it, but we can't all have squeaky fucking clean records like you, can we!" Beth said as tears now stung her eyes and she glared angrily at Jo.

"The drugs?" Jo asked her.

"I don't take drugs anymore, so you won't find any track marks on me." Beth said, pushing up her other sleeve to show Jo, just to prove her point. "You wanna check between my toes too? I got clean two years ago. I started taking whatever I could get my hands when I was twelve because it was better to feel nothing than be able to feel the abuse I got in foster homes. After foster care I got addicted on meth, I carried on because the abuse just came from different people and places and then I stopped because the only friend I ever had died in my arms from a dirty dose of meth. So don't you dare bring up my past because you know _nothing_ about what I have been through!"

"Then tell me." Jo said, taking a step closer to her.

Beth looked at her, wondering why she should but something in her made her want to open up and confess everything to Jo, but she shook her head. "No. I need to go to work."

"You can't go to work, you need to rest."

"This is New York. You rest too long and you get evicted. I'm not going back to living on the street. Now, please leave."

Jo sighed, and shook her head. "You need to stay here where you can get better. If you go to work now you risk causing further damage to your wounds."

"Detective Danville, you are not my mother…" her words made Jo stare at her wide eyed, _if only she knew _"…you can't tell me what to do. Now get the hell outta my apartment." Beth said to her, biting her bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

"Your body won't heal…" Jo tried again.

"Get out!" Beth screamed at her as tears began to fall.

Jo looked at Beth for a moment, she looked so lost and broken. She nodded and looked down at the bag in her hands. "These are for you." she said placing the bag on the floor before she turned and walked out of the door, shutting it behind her.

Beth waited a moment and then walked over to the bag. She picked it up and carried it over to the couch. She studied the bag, it was from a store she had never stepped foot in before. She reached into the bag and pulled out a shoe box. Confused she opened it up. Seeing the expensive pair of shoes in it, she turned to face the door, hoping Jo was still there so she could ask her why, _thank her, _but she was gone.

She pulled out the black flat soled boots. They were totally practical and tough wearing. _She loved them. _

~0~0~0~0~

Jo was sat in her car, looking out of the window. The need to cry seemed to suddenly burst out of her and she slumped over the steering wheel and let her tears and sobs out.

After a moment she managed to get herself back under control. She looked up just in time to see a red Porsche pull up, a dark haired man was driving it. She watched Beth walk right out of the building and straight up to the car. She climbed in and a second later it sped off, the engine roaring as it did so.

Jo waited for a moment before she pulled her car out onto the street and began to follow it, signalling to the two officers on protective detail that she was doing so.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth walked into the empty bar. It was early and the place never opened till gone 8pm. She had no intention of working but she just wanted out of her apartment and this was the best place, plus her boss Warren wanted to speak to her.

She saw him sitting at the bar, going through papers. She thanked Leo, her driver and Warren's personal assistant, and cousin.

"Hey War', look who's here!" Leo shouted across the empty dance floor.

Warren turned and instantly smiled when he saw Beth. His smile was amazing, it always made Beth smile. She walked over to him and into his open arms. "How you feeling, beautiful?"

"Like I got shot." she scoffed.

Warren looked up at Leo who was lingering in the doorway. Warren gave him a quick but subtle head nod and Leo left. "You know, I have something in my office that could make you feel as good as new." he said to her with a smile.

Beth looked up at him, finding herself getting lost in his stunning cerulean blue eyes. "I'm right behind you." she said flashing him one of her best smiles.

Warren took her hand and led her over to his office. The door was open but as soon as they stepped through he closed it. Beth turned to face him. Instantly he met her lips with his, gently guiding her back against his desk. As soon as her ass hit it he placed his hands under her arms and lifted her up onto it.

His lips moved down to her neck where he traced kisses that made her body immediately react. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" she asked him.

He moved back to look her in the face. "No, but you never know when we'll get to do this again." he said to her.

She just laughed at him. "I'm not going anywhere." she told him.

Warren just smiled at her before he began kissing her again, a passionate kiss. His tongue pressed against her lips, begging for access into her mouth which she happily granted. She didn't put up a fight when he reached down and unzipped her trousers. He stopped kissing her long enough to pull her shirt off her.

It was then he saw the bandage on her side. He gently brushed his fingers over it. "Just be gentle and I'll be fine." Beth told him.

Warren smiled at her and went back to kissing her as she reached down to unfasten his trousers.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo had been sat outside the bar for just under a half hour. It was closed so she didn't understand what was talking Beth so long in there, or why she was even here. Deciding she wanted to check it out further she climbed out of her car and walked up to the front door and, to her amazement, found it was open. She walked right in.

She stood in the doorway just looking around. She heard the voice that spoke to her before she saw who had said it. "We're closed!"

Jo turned to see the dark haired man she'd seen driving the Porsche. "Mmm mmm, but for you sweetheart I think I could make an exception."

Jo half smiled at him, not even slightly charmed by his sleaze, "Hi there. I'm….I'm just checking the place out." she said, not sure whether or not to identify herself as a Detective for Beth's sake.

"Let me show you around the place. I'll take you to my favourite VIP booth and you and I can get to know one an other." he said as began stroking Jo's arm. She simply looked down at his hand, debating whether or not to break it or slap him with it

"Detective Danville? What the hell are you doing here!" Jo heard Beth yell. She looked up and saw Beth coming out of the office, straightening her shirt, followed by another dark-haired man who was fastening the top buttons of his shirt up.

"I needed to talk to you." Jo said to her.

"I'm a little busy right now." Beth told her.

"I need to ask you more questions about what you saw."

Beth sighed, clearly annoyed. She turned to face the man behind her. "Can we talk tomorrow?" she asked him.

He glanced up at Jo, who was glaring at him. "Of course we can." he said as he placed a soft but lingering kiss on Beth's head, his eyes fixed on Jo the entire time. Jo found herself snarling back at him. "Speak to you later." he said to Beth when he finally pulled his lips away.

She smiled at him then walked away, right past Jo and out of the bar. Jo and Warren glared at each other a moment longer before Jo followed Beth. Warren never took his eyes off her until she was out of the bar.

He turned to Leo and said, "Get me everything you can on Detective Danville. I didn't like the way she was looking at me."

Leo nodded and walked away, but Warren still couldn't pull his eyes away from where Jo had been standing.

~0~0~0~0~

"I can't believe you showed up here!" Beth yelled angrily at Jo.

"You told me that you didn't have a boyfriend!" Jo said to her.

Beth stopped and turned to face her. "I don't!"

"Oh and I suppose that you and your boss were playing doctor's and nurses in his office."

Beth looked at her wide eyes and mouth open in shock. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Jo didn't answer she could only look at Beth, knowing she was in the wrong but she couldn't help worry for her. Beth shook her head and shoved past Jo as hard as she could.

Without thinking Jo pulled out her handcuffs and grabbed Beth's arm before she had chance to walk away. "Jo, what are you doing?" Beth asked in disbelief.

"You're under arrest for assault." Jo said, it was the only thing she could do to keep Beth somewhere where she could keep an eye on her.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth was sat in an interview room, outside was Jo and Mac. Jo suddenly hid her face behind her hands as she thought about what she had done. "Oh, what have I done, Mac?"

Mac just looked at her, not sure what to say. Jo stepped right up to him and grabbed his jacket in her hands, "Tell me what I'm supposed to do, please Mac."

"Jo, you're the parent. Why are you asking me these things?"

"Because I have no idea what to do. I've totally screwed up here. You should have heard how I laid into her after you told me about her record. I acted like…like…" Jo seemed lost for words.

"Like her mother."

Jo turned to face him and smiled. She loved how he always knew what she was thinking. "You know she told me about the assault on the police officer. She said he assaulted her first, in the back of a police car. The b&e was so she could have somewhere dry to sleep. The prostitution was so she could afford to buy food." she told him sadly.

"The drugs. She was caught with some pretty tough stuff Jo, mostly meth."

"She's quit. I believe her, Mac. About all of it. She's so desperate to be strong and independent even though she has nothing."

"Then go in there and tell her she has you." Mac said to her.

Jo shook her head. "I can't. I can't tell her yet. I don't know how too."

Mac just nodded.

~0~0~0~0~

Mac walked into the interrogation room and saw how pissed off Beth looked. "She's lying, I never assaulted her!" she told him.

"Your records tell me you have a habit of assaulting police officers." Mac replied.

"I pushed passed her, I didn't hit her."

"You mean like you hit that other police officer?" he asked.

Beth glared at him angrily, _of course a cop would defend another cop_, "He deserved a hell of a lot more than a slap. Look, can you just charge me so I can go?"

"Detective Danville has dropped the charges." he said to her.

Beth looked at him and he could see the confused look on her face. "She has?" she asked in disbelief.

Mac just nodded. Beth looked over at the glass in the interrogation room, she had been in them enough times to know it was a observation window. She knew Jo would be standing on the other side of it, watching. She turned to face Mac again and said, "If you're not pressing charges then I'm not staying."

Mac watched her get up and head over to the door. He had to wonder when she hesitated before grabbing the handle. "W…why did she drop the charges?" she asked as she looked at Mac.

"You should ask her that." he replied.

Beth found herself looking at his eyes, they were telling her he knew something that she didn't. She was going to question him but instead she said, "You tell her to stay away from me, or else I'll be calling you to charge her with harassment."

Beth quickly glanced at the observation window again before she ripped the door open and stormed out. Mac turned to face the observation window where he couldn't see, but knew Jo was stood looking back at him, her eyes filled with tears.

~0~0~0~0~

_**1.45am.**_

Beth placed some empty glass down on the bar and had to stop for a moment to just catch her breath. The bar was packed, more so than usual so it had been a painful struggle for her to get through to collect glasses. She had been knocked about and it had left her in pain. She was well and truly due for her pain medication that the hospital had provided but she didn't want to take them, _she didn't want to take any type of drug, _prescribed or not.

She thought back to when she did, how she used to feel…

_Beth staggered down the street, linking arms with another girl. Who looked equally as rough. They were both just 18 and both as thin as rakes. Their hair was greasy and they were both wearing torn and dirty clothes. It was just starting to rain but it didn't matter to them as they made their way down to the door to Beth place, the basement in an old lady's house._

_Once inside Alice walked right over to Beth's bed and reached underneath it for the box she knew Beth kept there. Beth stumbled over to her and collapsed onto the bed with an "Ugh." knowing what Alice was preparing she said, "Give me some too." as she stretched her arm out next to her. _

_She lay there, waiting for her fix to come, waiting for the rush. She smiled when she felt the needle prick into the crook of her arm. She continued to lie there as she was taken away to a place where she was happy. Alice quickly injected herself and slumped down next to Beth where they both lay motionless but in complete euphoria. _

Beth shook the memory away as she felt a strong, familiar hand on her side. "You okay, beautiful?" Warren asked her.

Beth looked up at him, he truly was handsome and very tall. He was over a foot taller than she was. "Why do you call me that?" she asked.

"Beautiful?"

"Yeah," Beth said with a quick nod.

"Because you are." he told her simply.

She just rolled her eyes at him, "You're just after one thing." she replied.

"I'm not…but if you're offering." he said making her laugh.

"I'm working." she told him.

"I promise I won't tell the boss." he joked.

Beth just leant against the bar and half smiled.

"You look exhausted. Why don't you go take a break out back. Get some fresh air." he said.

Beth actually liked the sound of that plan. "You don't mind?" she checked.

"Not at all." he said with an award winning smile.

"Thanks." Beth said as she made her way through the crowd and over to the staff room; inside there was the door that led out into the back alley. Warren watched her slip through it and then turned to look across the bar. He could see a man through the crowd, he gave him a nod and the man began making his way through the crowd. Warren turned back to the staff room and watched the man slip into there too.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth was stood in the alley, her arms wrapped around her. The night air was cold but the freshness of it in her lungs felt great. _The bar had been so hot and stuffy. _She had propped the back door open as she was only going to take a few minutes then she was going to get back to work. She needed the distraction of it, she was getting too lost in thoughts and memories of her past.

She had to look down the alley when she heard a clatter of trash cans. She saw no one, nothing. She suddenly realised how deadly silent it was in the alley. A car then drove slowly passed the bottom of the alley, seemingly studying it. It unnerved her, she was about to turn around and go back inside when something came down over her face before hooking around her neck, _a garrotte. _

It was pulled so tight that she was lifted off the ground. She scratched at the hands that controlled it. The thin wire of it was beginning to cut into her throat. She tried to reach back and claw at the persons face but all it got her was a slam into the wall in front of her. She heard her a crunch as her head hit the hard brick. She barely had time to register the pain before the garrotte was pulled tighter, once more lifting her off the floor before she was swung her back from the wall only to slam her back into it.

She could only gasp in pain and for breath. _God she needed to breath, _her chest felt like it was being crushed, it was so painful. She wanted to cry but the sobs were stuck in her throat. Tears built up in her eyes at them same time everything seemed to start going black.

She heard a loud shot before the pressure around her neck was gone. She fell to the floor and it seemed to take forever before she could take in a much needed breath but as soon as she had one she needed another and another. She gulped greedily at the air around her as she reached up to hold her neck.

She hit out in panic at the arms that came to rest on her shoulders. "Beth, sweetheart it's Jo!"

Beth stopped panicking when she saw Jo crouched next to her. She turned to look at the body of a man who lay on the floor, his eyes wide open as blood pooled out of his mouth. She barely listened as Jo called for back up. She couldn't pull her eyes off the man. She instantly recognised him, heard his voice in her head, _"__Bitch fell into the dumpster, finish her.__"_

He had been one of the men from the alley, the night she had seen the shooting, the night she had been shot herself. The night she had met Jo. She turned back to Jo who was looking at her, her hand still resting on her shoulder. "Thank you." Beth said to her before she threw her arms around her and pulled herself close to Jo.

Jo seemed to shocked to do anything at first but then she wrapped her arms around Beth and held her closer against her, resting her cheek on top of Beth's head. "You're ok. I won't let anything happen to you." Jo told her.

Both women looked up when Warren suddenly came running out of the back door, just as Jo heard sirens approaching behind them. "Jesus! Beth, what the hell happened?" he asked as he ran over to her and pulled her up from the floor, _leaving Jo to pull herself up. _

Jo watched as he held Beth against him. He was looking at Jo over Beth's shoulder. The look he gave her made the hair on the back of her neck stand up on end. There was something else to him, _she just knew it. _As officers came running up behind her she couldn't help but think that one way or another she would work out just who Warren was.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them. **

**There's not much action in this chapter but lots of interaction between Jo and Beth. We find out some more stuff about Beth's past too which is pretty dark, just a warning. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**Chapter 4**

Mac, Flack and Danny had arrived at the bar in order to analyse the scene. Jo was standing next to Flack as he questioned Beth. She was happy that Mac was questioning Warren in another part of the, now empty, bar.

"Beth was there anyone else in the alley when you were being attacked?" Flack asked her.

Beth shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. She then reached up and placed her hand against her bruised throat. "I have no idea. One minute I'm looking down the alley and the next I can't breathe and I'm being slammed against a wall."

"It's okay," Jo said to her with a supportive smile. "Do you remember which direction he came from." Jo asked.

"From behind. I think maybe he followed me out of the bar." she said.

"Did you see him in the bar?" Flack asked.

Beth tried to remember, but her head just felt like a jumble of thoughts. "I don't know, it was really crowded in here tonight." she said as she reached up and placed her hand on her head. She suddenly felt herself sway then felt hands holding her up.

She looked to see Jo had hold of her, having kept her from crashing to the floor. "I think you should go to hospital and get checked over. The cut on your head looks pretty nasty." Jo said, worry in her voice.

"It's fine. It's nothing, really." she lied. She actually felt anything but fine. She was exhausted, slightly nauseous from the pain she was in and she hated hospitals so it was the last place she wanted to go back to.

They all turned to face Warren and Mac as they heard their conversation begin to get a little heated. "I told you I saw nothing! I was in here!" Warren yelled at Mac before he stormed away from him.

He walked over to Beth and placed his arms around her, pulling her out of Jo's grasp. "Look have you all finished this interrogation?"

"This isn't an interrogation!" Jo told him.

"Well it sure as hell feels like one!" Warren snapped at her.

They both glared at each other for a moment, both only looking away when Flack spoke. "I could really do with asking you a few more questions, Beth. Is that okay?"

"No!" Warren said for her. "I'm taking her home with me. You are the ones who were supposed to be protecting her and yet she was nearly choked to death tonight!"

"And wasn't thanks to Detective Danville!" Mac said, clearly annoyed by Warren's attitude.

"Either way…." Warren began.

"Warren, it's okay. If answering a few more questions helps get these bastards then I'm okay with that. I won't let them get away with this." she said determinedly.

"Fine, but once you're finished, I'm taking you back to my place."

"Warren, I just want to go home." she said, truth was she wasn't that keen on his place, it just screamed _I have money!_

"I could really do with seeing any CCTV footage you have of the back alley?" Flack said to Warren.

"There's one camera out back, doubt it would have picked up much. They're not the best. I was planning on getting them replaced next month."

"Either way…" Flack said, "I'm gonna need to see it."

"I'll go get it." Warren said, "Beth, I'll call you later to see how you are." She just smiled and nodded at him.

Warren walked off leaving Jo, Mac, Flack and Beth. Beth reached up and began rubbing her head again. "Can I not take you to the hospital?" Jo asked her again, placing her hand under Beth's elbow for support.

"I just want to go home and get in bed." Beth told her.

"You shouldn't be alone tonight, you need someone there to keep an eye on you." Jo said to her.

"I'll be fine." Beth said as she pulled away from Jo only to sway again, once more Jo had to catch her. Finally accepting she wasn't so fine, she asked, "Do you know any good babysitters?"

"You don't need a babysitter, you're coming home with me." Jo told her.

Beth looked at her, shocked. "Why would you do that?" she asked.

Flack and Mac, watched Jo, waiting for her answer. "I can protect you there, and no one will know you are there. It's the safest place."

~0~0~0~0~

After having taken the long way back, Jo finally pulled up outside her apartment building. She turned and had to smile seeing Beth's face, the look of disbelief. "What?" she asked Beth.

"You live here?" Beth said pointing to the building.

"Yeah." Jo replied, having not to laugh.

"Guess it's the type of place where you have to take your shoes off before you walk in?"

"Not in my apartment." Jo told her with a smile. "Come on lets get inside."

~0~0~0~0~

They could take the lift to Jo's floor which Beth also seemed amazed by. Jo unlocked the door and walked in to an apartment filled with music and cheers. She looked over to see Tyler and Ellie playing on the Wii. "I hope you're not cheating again Tyler!" she shouted playfully over the music.

"No!" he replied at the same time Ellie shouted "Yes!"

It was Ellie who turned first and saw Beth standing in the doorway. Jo then turned to see Beth was lingering outside. She reached out and grabbed her hand and led her in. "Guys this is Beth. Beth, this is my son Tyler and my daughter Ellie."

"Hi." Beth said.

Both Tyler and Ellie stared at Beth for a moment, beginning to make her feel al little awkward. It was Jo purposely coughing that distracted them.

"You wanna play on the Wii with us?" Ellie asked Beth . "You can take Tyler's place because he just cheats."

"I don't cheat, but I don't play by the rules either." Tyler stated.

"Duh!" Ellie said as she playfully hit him.

Beth just laughed as she watched them begin to play fight. "Go join them." Jo said to her.

"I don't know." Beth said nervously.

"It's a lot of fun." Jo said to her.

"I have no idea what that thing is." Beth confessed, feeling stupid.

Jo looked at her, it was her turn to be shocked, although she guessed she shouldn't be. Beth didn't even own a TV or a radio, not even a cell phone. "Come on." she said as she took hold of her hand and pulled her over to where Ellie and Tyler stood. "Mom's go!" she said taking the controllers from Ellie and Tyler. She kept hold of one and passed the other to Beth. "Ellie, sweetie, why don't you tell Beth what to do?"

Ellie looked at Beth in wonder, "You've never played Wii?" she asked. Beth shook her head. "It's easy, and Mom's rubbish, so you can easily beat her."

"Gee, thanks kiddo!" Jo said with a smile as she fixed the strap around her wrist.

"This is bowling, so all you do is hold this button in and swing like you would if you were really bowling." Ellie told Beth, she then added, "You have bowled right?"

They all saw the way Beth looked at her, a look that said _'no' _

Tyler took a step towards Ellie and scooped her up. "Like this!" he said as he swung her outwards, despite her kicking and giggling. He placed her back down on her feet and they watched as Jo took her go at bowling, almost getting a strike. Beth took her go, feeling like a fool when she didn't hit one pin. "I'm rubbish." she said passing the controller back to Ellie.

"It's okay, you get another go." Ellie said encouragingly.

Beth took her go again and to her amazement got a strike. They all cheered and carried on playing for the next two hours only stopping to eat.

~0~0~0~0~

Sometime later, Jo was stood in the kitchen clearing up after the pizza she had ordered for them all. Beth and Ellie were still playing Wii, _something Beth had natural talent at. _Tyler walked into the kitchen and playfully nudged Jo. "You gonna tell me who she is?" he asked her.

Jo looked at him, thinking about telling him the truth but she couldn't until she had spoke to Beth. "She's a witness. She has no one and nowhere better to be." she told him. Tyler just smiled and watched Beth as she continued playing on the Wii. "You like her?" Jo asked.

"Mom, she's the spitting image of you, that would be gross."

"I don't mean like that!" she said as she playfully nudged him back.

"Oh! Then yes, she's cool. Ellie really seems to have taken to her." he said.

Jo watched her daughters play Wii together and nodded. She liked this, her family all under one roof. _She couldn't wipe the smile off her face. _

~0~0~0~0~

It was a few hours later by the time Ellie was in bed and Tyler had left. Jo walked into the kitchen where Beth was stood hungrily eating some fruit. Jo wanted to cook her everything in the apartment just to try and fatten her up a little, _she needed it. _

"Can I ask you a really big favour?" Beth asked her.

"Anything." Jo replied.

"Can I use your tub? The water at my place isn't so hot…ever."

Jo just smiled and said, "Of course you can. Come on."

She showed Beth into the bathroom and gave her a clean towel that she could use. She noticed Beth looking in wonder at the bath tub, "You could sail the titanic in that thing." Beth said to her.

"It is a great tub to just lay back and unwind in." Jo confessed.

"I'll just be happy with hot water." Beth replied.

"Do you want to borrow some clean clothes?" Jo asked her.

Beth nodded, smiled and said, "That would be great."

Almost another hour later Beth was out of the tub and dressed in the clothes Jo had provided her with. They were just black sweats, a white tank top and a long sleeved black cardigan. Beth put the cardigan on and brought the sleeves up to her face, the material was so soft. She noticed that, even though the cardigan was clearly clean, the smell of Jo's perfume lingered on it. Beth couldn't help but think that it smelt lovely and oddly familiar, _like she had smelt it before. _

She walked out of the bathroom and found herself brining the sleeves back up to her face so she could smell the perfume again, feeling a little stupid when she saw Jo watching her. "Nice perfume." she said, blushing slightly.

"I love it. I've always worn it. I even wore it the day I ha…the first time that I saw you." she said, having to stop herself from saying _'the day I had you', but it was the first day she had saw her. _"Come sit down." she said to Beth as she sat on the couch. Beth walked over and joined her, instantly wishing her couch was as comfy.

"Hey Beth, I wanted to ask you about your Boss, Warren." Jo said after a moment of them sitting.

"He comes across as being a jerk but he cares for me. He's about the only person who _does_ care about me." Beth told her.

"So…are you two a couple?" Jo asked hesitantly.

"No. More friends with benefits." Beth told her, it suddenly sounded a little cheap to her but truth was she just enjoyed the contact with another human being.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Jo asked, she suddenly had to think about how personal she was being. "I'm sorry, I'm being nosey." she laughed.

"No, it's okay. Truth is you're the first other woman I've spoke to like this in years. And the answers yes by the way, just one. He was the one who got me hooked on meth and he was also my pimp for a while."

Jo just looked at her, feeling sorry for her again. "When did the abuse in the foster homes first start?" she asked sensitively.

Beth had to think about that, it seemed soo long ago, "It started off just the odd slap with a hand or a belt….but it was like the older I got the worse it got. People want to foster baby's not 6 year olds. When I was seven I got put with this couple who just collected kids. One night the guy climbed into bed with me and tried to get me to…you know... Anyway, I err, I bit him and then I ran as fast and as far away as I could; but I was on the streets for a day when the police caught me. I got put in another home then another and another. I just used to stay long enough to stash some food and some money then I would run. Each time the police would find me and the homes I got dumped in kept getting worse and worse, and then they got really bad." Beth said.

Jo could tell recalling this was hard for her so she was surprised when she continued.

"I started taking drugs, smoking weed anything just to numb things, you'know. Anyway, I got put in this one home and the couple actually seemed pretty nice at first. Good food, nice house, no beatings or abuse…but I couldn't have been more wrong. One night Carolynn went out and Rodger had his friends over. I had gone to bed and he, err, came into my room and told me I was gonna play a game with them all." she paused, bit her lip as if to hold in sobs. "The tied my wrists and ankles to the frame of his bed and the five of them took turns raping me, over and over all night long. I knew begging them to stop wouldn't work but in the end I was just begging them to give me a minute, _just one minute…._" she said as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Jo had her hand over her mouth because it was the only way she could hold her sobs in, her tears were a little harder to keep under control, the odd one would fall and she would quickly swipe it away.

"They didn't even give me 30 seconds before they carried on. Eventually I passed out and when I woke up I was lying naked, half wrapped up in an old rug by the river. They thought they'd killed me…_God I wish they had!" _Beth said as she wiped away her tears. "Alice was the one who found me. She helped me get better, I couldn't walk for days and she practically carried me everywhere, she brought food to me…and in return I got her hooked on meth…and it killed her, and I live with that every day."

"Oh sweetheart." Jo said as she reached up and touched Beth's face, gently brushing away a tear with her thumb. "I'm so sorry…" she said.

"It's not like its your fault."

Jo wanted to say _'yes it is'_, but she felt too ashamed to admit to Beth that she was her mother.

"Alice was the only person I could ever trust. She helped save my life and I helped take hers." Beth said before she burst into full blown heartbroken sobs. Jo quickly wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. Beth wrapped her arms around Jo's waist and cried into her shirt.

_She cried until she fell asleep in Jo's arms._

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. So the time has come for Jo to tell Beth the truth…but will she be able to.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**Chapter 5**

Jo was sat at her desk, looking out of the window at nothing in particular. Lying on her desk, among the mess, were the only files that child services had on Beth. They were basic but the one thing that did appear in it over and over was _"problem child". _It made Jo angry to see it and eventually she had found she couldn't read anymore, which is how she had come to be staring out of the window at the beautiful sunny day.

She only looked away when she heard a knock. She turned to face the door where Mac stood. "How long have you been watching me?" she asked knowingly.

"Long enough." he told her as he walked in. "You want to tell me what's wrong?" he asked as he pulled up another chair by her desk.

Jo reached down and passed him Beth's file. "I managed to get that from child services today. They say after the last home she _"left" _they pretty much gave up on her."

Mac began reading the report from the last foster home. "Rodger and Carolynn Olsen state they woke up one morning and she was gone." Mac read out loud.

"Yeah, except that's not what happened…" Jo said to him, anger in her voice that made Mac look up at her in wonder. "Rodger Olsen invited four of his buddies round one night after Carolynn had gone out. They tied Beth down and took turns violating her all night long. They raped her to the point where they thought she was dead, then wrapped her naked body up in a rug and left her by the river." Jo told him, anger even more noticeable in her shaky voice. _He could tell she was close to breaking. _

Mac dropped the file down onto Jo's desk and thought about what she had said. He thought about the dozens of other girls who had probably been in Rodger Olsen's care who he also abused.

"Every time I think about telling Beth that she's my daughter she tells me about some other sick thing that happened to her and I feel so ashamed and so guilty….that I just can't tell her."

"She needs to know, Jo." he said to her.

"She deserves to know." Jo corrected. "I'm so scared that I'll tell her and she'll hate me, and I wouldn't blame her."

"Jo, you did what you thought was best for her." Mac stated.

"And it backfired in my face." she said, shaking her head as she forced her emotions to stay under control.

Mac just looked at her, wishing there was something he could say to make her feel better. Unable to find words he reached over and took her hand and gave it a slight squeeze. She turned to face him and saw him smiling at her, _she had to smile back. _

~0~0~0~0~

The lift doors opened with a musical ping that Beth just found annoying. She stepped out onto the 34th floor and found it swarming with people, she had no idea where she was supposed to go to find Jo, she'd just been directed to this floor.

Adam was in his lab, searching the internet as he was only waiting on results. He quickly glanced up and saw Beth standing by the elevator, he looked back down only to quickly look up again, this time to stare at Beth. "Wow!" he said as he pushed himself up and walked out of his lab.

He walked right over to her and asked, "Can I help you?"

Beth instantly found herself smiling when she saw him. "Hi." she said to him.

Adam simply smiled back at her. It was silent between them for a moment and it was then that she noticed how he was just staring at her. "You have got to be related to Jo." he suddenly said to her.

"No…but I am actually here to see her." Beth told him.

"Really! You're not related? Because you are just like another version of her. A much younger version…I mean, I'm not saying Jo's old but your…clearly…err younger." he said, starting to ramble.

Beth just looked at him, biting her lip so as not to laugh. "Do you know where she is?" she asked with a smile that made Adam just stare at her again. It was becoming a little awkward when Beth found she was saved by another voice.

"Beth!" Danny said as he walked over to them.

Adam snapped out of his thoughts as he turned to face Danny and said, "Hey, this is…Beth, that's your name?" he asked turning to face Beth, realising he hadn't actually got round to asking her that. Beth just nodded. "It's pretty…" he said, blushing a little.

"Beth, this is Adam, he's not as dumb as he looks." Danny told her.

Adam just smiled as if flattered until he heard the words play again in his head, "Wait, what?"

Danny just laughed, "Come on I'll take you to Jo, she's in her office." he said as he led the way.

"Hey, err, Beth!" Adam called out. She turned to face him, "Don't tell Jo about the whole old thing….please." he said with a nervous smile.

"I won't. It was nice to meet you, Adam." she said before she followed after Danny. Leaving Adam standing there smiling.

Danny led Beth all the way to Jo's office. He stood in the doorway and knocked. Both Jo and Mac turned to face him and then noticed Beth. "Found her in the hallway being chatted up by Adam." Danny told them.

"That was him chatting me up?" Beth asked Danny.

"You're funny." Danny said before he walked off.

Beth looked at Jo and Mac and said, "I was actually being serious."

Jo laughed and said, "Come in," she noticed how Beth was lingering in the doorway. She stood up and saw Beth's child services file and suddenly thought it was better Beth didn't know she was looking into it. "You'know what, why don't we take a walk?" she suggested instead.

~0~0~0~0~

It was beautiful in central park, but then again both Jo and Beth had always found the park one of New York's most beautiful places.

"So Adam, is trying to clear the camera footage up from the alley at the bar." Jo told Beth. "Hopefully it will show us if the second man you saw the night of the shooting was there in the alley too. If he's on it somewhere then maybe we could identify him."

"Then I hope he's on it. I keep going back to that night…the sounds of the guns are still so real in my head." Beth confessed.

"I could put you in touch with a great counsellor if you think it would help you?" Jo said.

"No that's okay." Beth wasn't the counselling type. "So, you really think Adam will be able to clear the footage up enough?" Beth asked.

Jo nodded confidently, "If anyone can it's him. He's the best."

Beth just smirked and nodded. Jo noticed the smile on her face, she playfully nudged her and asked, "What's that smile about?"

Beth found herself laughing, giggling almost and blushing a little.

"You can tell me." Jo said nudging her again.

"Adam's kinda cute." Beth said.

"You like him." Jo said in a sing-song voice.

"He's hot and he's pretty funny…can't say I ever meet nice guys like him."

"Well you deserve to." Jo said to her.

Beth had to stop, causing Jo to stop as well. She had to wonder why Jo was being so nice to her, why she seemed to care so much. She then looked at Jo, _really looked at her. _Her brown eyes seemed so familiar….she shook her head and figured it was just the familiarity of her own reflection. "Do you think its weird that we look so alike?" Beth suddenly had to ask her.

Jo opened her mouth to give her some sort of answer, but then she decided it was time to give Beth the _true_ answer. "Sweetheart, sit down." she said as she led Beth to bench behind them. As they settled down she could see that Beth was clearly wondering what was going on, so, she decided to cut right to the chase.

"When I was about your age, I was a lot like you. I lived in this real tiny little apartment, I was working two jobs just to pay the pills, like you are now. Then one day this guy came into the place where I was working and we got chatting and he asked me out. I fell in love with him straight away." Jo said, remembering back to the time when she had been so naive.

"We had been dating for a couple of months when I found out I was pregnant. He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy and when I refused he beat me, told me I was nothing to him, just a bit on the side…turns out he was married." Jo said, feeling slightly ashamed.

"What an asshole." Beth said sympathetically. "So was the baby okay?" she asked.

Jo nodded, "Yeah, thankfully, but I knew I couldn't ask him for money to help towards the baby's needs and one of the places I was working at closed down and I began falling behind on my rent. I knew that I had nothing to offer a baby. I wouldn't have been able to afford to feed it or buy it clothes or anything else it needed." she said, tears in her eyes.

Beth looked at her, wondering why Jo was telling her this. Part of her told her to ask the questions that was screaming at her in her head, "So…what did you do with the baby?"

"I gave her up for adoption." Jo said, her tears beginning to fall.

Beth suddenly felt a cold chill down her spine, she looked Jo square in the eyes, her heart pounding. She asked, "W-w-why are you telling me this?"

The words seemed to get stuck in Jo's throat but finally she said, "Sweetheart that baby was you. You're my daughter." she told her.

Beth looked at her, eyes wide open, her bottom lip trembling. Tears built so quick in her eyes that it made her gasp when she felt them rolling down her cheeks. "What?" was all she could say.

"Beth, I'm your Mother."

Beth shook her head and pushed herself up off the bench. Jo had to run to catch up to her. "Where are you going, Beth, sweetheart, talk to me?" she said grabbing Beth's arm to stop her.

Beth snatched her arm from Jo's grasp and turned to face her. "How long have you known?" she asked.

"Beth, what does it matter…?"

"It matters to me! How long?" she said as her tears continued to fall.

"Since the night of the shooting."

Beth turned and began walking away, feeling slightly nauseous. Once more Jo grabbed her arm and Beth turned to face her, pulling her arm free. "You've know all this time and you didn't even think to tell me?"

"I didn't know how to!" Jo told her as the first few drops of rain began to slowly fall.

"It's easy, you say, _'Beth, I'm your mother the one who abandoned you when you were born.'_" she yelled angrily at Jo.

"I had no choice. I thought I was giving you a shot at a better life…"

"You self-righteous bitch!" Beth said as she glared at her.

"Beth…"Jo began, tears almost choking her.

"So is that the only reason you've taken such an interest in my case, because you feel guilty, or sorry for me because of the shit I got stuck with because of you? Well guess what? I don't need you pity and I certainly don't need you, _never have, never will_!" Beth yelled angrily at her before she turned her back on her again.

She had only taken a few steps when Jo grabbed her arm again. Beth spun round, ripping her arm out of her grasp only to use it slap Jo hard across the face. She hit her _so_ hard that Jo stumbled sideways into the railing to the side of her. Beth gasped had struggled to hold back sobs when she realised what she had done. She badly wanted to apologise to her and went to take a step towards Jo to do so, but she stopped herself, she was still too angry.

All she could do was take slow steps backwards and say, "You get to live with the guilt if something happens to me now, and all because you screwed up….again." she said as her tears began to fall, seeping in with the rain that had splashed on her face; the rain that began to pour down around them, angrily pounding the ground and soaking both Jo and Beth through to the bone.

Jo could only stay by the fence, holding onto it with one hand out of fear her trembling legs would give way beneath her. Her other hand rested of her stinging cheek. As she watched Beth walk away her own tears began to fall beyond her control.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please review. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews, I truly mean it when I say they are appreciated. Writing is my passion so its great to get feedback from readers who like my idea's. I would love to one day become a writer on the show….hey, a girl can dream! :D**

**Very long chapter here. Over 6000 words!  
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**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 6**

Beth stormed into her apartment and slammed the door shut, punching it once it was closed. She stood against it and leant her forehead on it. Her dripping wet hair stuck to her face, _it made her feel cold._

She was shivering uncontrollably and she wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from the overwhelming emotions she was feeling right now. She kicked the door, hard, before she pushed herself away from it. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door over behind her. She stripped off her wet clothes that she had to peel from off her body. She dropped them on the tiled floor where they landed with a wet splat.

She turned the shower on and stood under the lukewarm water, letting it fall all over her body which began to feel heavier and heavier with emotion. Eventually standing was just too much for her and she slid down the wall onto her ass in the tub. She tucked her legs in and leant her head on her knees as she cried.

~0~0~0~0~

It was getting dark outside, and all over New York lights were being turned on, illuminating the city and making it look more amazing than it did in the day. Warren hadn't bother to pay attention to the city as he drove through it. He had just one thing on his mind.

He was halfway up the stairs leading to Beth's apartment when he paused. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe, it was full and he was ready to use it..._but not on himself. _

Beth had just walked out of the bathroom wrapped up in a towel, her hair was wet and tangled up, but now clean of rain water. She was about to grab a glass of water when there was a knock on the door. She walked over to it and looked through the peephole, having to smile when she saw Warren.

She pulled the door open and smiled when she saw the way he gave her an approving nod. "Is this how you usually greet your guests?" he asked, looking down at her towel.

"Only the ones who are good looking." she shot back at him. She smiled and turned around. "Come in!" she yelled back to him. "I'll just be a minute. Feel free to get yourself a drink." she said as she walked into the bathroom.

Warren walked into her apartment and shut the door behind him, making sure he put the chain on. He then walked over to the couch with a sly smile on his face, his hand in his pocket clutching the syringe.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo stepped out of the elevator, thankful that she had dried off slightly on the taxi journey back to the lab. She wanted to go to her office and hide from everyone, which is why she wanted to cry when Adam came running up to her. "Jo, I cleared that image up. The person in it doesn't match the description Beth gave us of the other guy, but whoever this person is he is definitely watching, even when Beth is being attacked. He steps back inside just before you shot Beth's attacker."

"Show me!" Jo said to him, suddenly forgetting all about wanting to hide away. .

She followed after him as he ran back into his lab, he had the image waiting by the time she stepped through the door. She watched as he hit play and the image came to life. She looked at the man standing there, his face slightly hidden in the shadows for what seemed like forever, "Step forward you son-uva-bitch!" she muttered.

Adam didn't bother questioning her words, he felt the exact same, but he knew the man would come out of the shadows, "Just a few more seconds…" he told her.

Then the figure stepped forward, his face clear as day thanks to the work Adam had done. She recognised him instantly. Her hand shot to her mouth, "Oh no!" she cried.

"What? You know who this guys is?" Adam asked her.

"It's Beth's boyfriend!" she told him as she ran out, "Show Mac! Tell him to send a team over to the bar to arrest Warren!" she called before she ran into the lift. Adam, doing as she had ordered, went off in search of Mac.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth was in the bathroom finishing off brushing her hair, she had the door open and so was talking to Warren even though he was still stood over by the couch looking out of the window down at the cop car on the street below. The officers were still both too distracted listening to a game on the radio, he had heard it playing when they had asked him to identify himself before they would let him enter the building. All he'd had to say was he was her boyfriend and boss and show them his ID and they had allowed him up.

Beth finally walked out of the bathroom, pretending to clear her throat so that Warren turned to face her. He had to smile at her, he liked what he saw. She was wearing a pair of grey shorts and a navy blue tank top, her hair was wet and she looked stunning. He couldn't help but think about how much of a waste it was going to be to kill her.

Beth saw the way he was looking at her and it made her smile. "They're just shorts." she said as she walked over to him pulling her hair up into a ponytail.

"I was actually thinking about what was underneath them shorts." he said to her.

She laughed as she grabbed hold of his arms and wrapped them around herself. She nuzzled her face against his warm chest before she looked up at him, draping her arms around his neck. "Do you wanna stay over?" she asked him.

"You're bed is soo un-comfy." he said to her.

Beth just looked at him and shook her head, "I wasn't planning on us sleeping." she said with a seductive smile as she stepped up onto her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. Without hesitation he kissed her back. His kiss was hard, lustful, and it felt as amazing as ever.

He slid his hands down her arms, which she still had draped around his neck. He then slid them over her shoulders, down her back and across her ass before grabbing hold off her thighs and scooping her up.

Beth wrapped her legs around his waist and continued to kiss him as he carried her over to her bed. He placed her down and immediately fell on top of her. Beth moaned as he began to softly kiss the spot on her neck that was always most sensitive to his kisses. He could always have her body crying out for him in minutes.

He knew it and so wasted no time in reaching down and pushing her shorts and panties down, following his lead she unclipped his belt and pushed his trousers and boxers down. Realizing that this was going to be the last time he could have her he pulled her shirt off. His lips immediately latched onto her breast and he could tell from the moan that escaped her lips that she liked it.

Beth unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off him, she wanted to feel his naked body against hers. The moment he was free of all his clothes he pushed his hard cock into her, making her gasp a little. He was well equipped and liked to remind her. He thrust into her again, this time making her moan in pleasure.

He was going to get every bit of bliss from her that he could. This was, after all, what he was going to miss most about not having her around.

~0~0~0~0~

It was more than an hour later and Beth was lay next to Warren who was half leaning over her as he kissed her. She knew he wanted more from her but she was feeling exhausted and her body was beginning to protest in pain. She pushed him off her and sat up, "Down boy." she said with a smile as she grabbed her shirt off the floor and pulled it on. She then grabbed her shorts and panties and pulled them on.

Fully dressed again she sat down on the bed began putting her hair back into a ponytail. She smiled when she felt Warren slip his arm around her waist and into her shirt, "I wasn't finished with you yet." he said as he cupped her breast with his hand and began placing soft kisses on her shoulders.

"Oh, yeah. What's in it for me?" she asked.

She had to wonder why Warren leant over the bed and reached for his trousers. She was smiling as she thought about what he could possibly need from them. Her smile quickly faded when she saw him pull a loaded syringe out of his pocket.

She turned to face him, only to find him smirking up at her. "What is that?" she asked him.

"Just a little something…for you." he told her, waving the syringe at her.

She continued to look at him, confused. She shook her head and said, "No, Warren."

"It's just meth." he said with a smile.

"I don't want it!" she spat at him.

She tried to push herself up, wanting to put as much distance between her and the drug filled syringe, but she'd barely got to her feet when she felt Warren grab hold of her hair. He ripped it back, pulling her right down flat on the bed before he climbed on top of her, trapping her body underneath his. He pulled his hand out of her hair, pulling it from its ponytail. He threw the hair band at her face and laughed as he placed the syringe on her face, luckily the cap was still on…_for now. _

"Warren, please!" she begged, "I don't want that! You know I don't do drugs anymore. Please!" she begged as he pulled the cap off with his teeth and spat it at her face.

"And after this you won't do them again." he told her.

"What?" she asked.

She then looked at the amount in the syringe. She was familiar enough with the drug to know what that amount would do to her. Suddenly knowing what his intention was she began to wriggle beneath him, trying to free herself. She pushed against his chest, trying to push him off her but it was no good he was too heavy and too strong.

She suddenly felt his hand grip her throat. He was gripping it so tight that she couldn't breathe and it was painful to try. She reached up and clawed at his arm, trying to pull it from her throat.

"Stop fighting me, Beth." he told her, squeezing harder. "You don't have a choice on this one. Now, I can either do this the easy way or I can do it the hard way." he said to her.

Beth continued to struggle beneath him and try to pull his arm away, she was quickly beginning to get light headed, she needed oxygen. Going for a different technique she reached up to his face, dug her nails into his flesh, and scratched him as hard as she could. He sat up and growled in pain as he held his face.

With his hand gone from her throat she was a bit less light headed, she used all the strength she had to push him back off her, he fell back and slammed into the wall that the bed rested against. Beth pushed herself up, gasping for air and then choking on the breathe she took, and ran towards the front door.

She never heard Warren get up, she just felt him come crashing down on top of her as he dove off the bed. She cried out in pain as her body was crushed between him and the hard wooden floor. She felt his hand tangle up in her hair and then a painful tug. He pressed his face against hers as he growled into her ear, "You always did like it the hard way."

"Fuck you!" she yelled at him.

His response was to first kiss her cheek, hard, before he slammed her face against the hard floor, busting her nose. He quickly flipped her over beneath him, she expected him to jab the needle into her but instead he punched her hard in the face. She yelped in pain as she felt her nose gush with more blood than it already had been. Another punch made her yelp again, this time it was her lip that bust open and gushed blood into her mouth.

Her eyes filled with tears as Warren pushed himself up off her. She reached up and held her hands over her face, it was agony just to slightly touch. She could feel it covered in her blood. She reached up and felt the bleeding gash on her forehead, touching it made her close her eyes and wince in pain.

She opened them in time to see Warren reach down and grab a handful of her hair. He tugged on it, pulling her up to her feet by it. She managed to hold the cry of pain in but not when he grabbed the back of her shirt as well and slammed her into the wall at full force, once, then twice. She put her arm out to try to stop the next collision but it was in vain and she yelped in pain as she heard a snap as her arm got crushed between her and the wall.

She couldn't get a minute to catch her breath as her body silently screamed in blinding pain. Warren let go of her hair and grabbed her arms and slammed her back against the wall and stepped right up to her so his face was right by her bleeding face. Seeing what his next move was going to be she tried to grab his arm, as he swung it at her. "No!" she pleaded. It was pointless, his fist buried itself into her side, the exact place where she had been hit with a bullet.

The pain was sickening and she screamed so loud it startled herself. A pain filled blackness threatened to take over her and part of her welcomed it. She doubled over and would have fell to the floor but Warren took hold of her, pushing her back against the wall, holding her there by pressing his hand against her shoulder.

He brushed her blood stained hair back off her face, not even trying to be gentle. "That looks nasty." he said as he pressed two fingers into the gash on her forehead.

She slapped his hand away with the arm that wasn't throbbing in pain and glared angrily at him. "That all you got asshole!" she spat at him, she wasn't about to let him think he had beaten her yet. She swung her arm and punched him in the face as best as she could.

He stumbled sideways holding his jaw. He turned to look at her, clearly pissed off, but then a smirk spread across his face. "Not bad, for a girl." he said before he punched her right back. His punch making her whole body turn on the spot. She had to grab the wall to keep her standing.

She was too out of it from the punch to do anything as Warren ripped her away from the wall. He picked her petite frame up off the floor only to throw her down on the old wooden coffee table. It smashed to pieces beneath her, some of them cutting into her flesh.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo was driving as fast as the limit would allow her. Her stomach seemed to be doing flips, nauseatingly so. She suddenly found herself flooring it, _screw the limit. Something told her to get to Beth's quicker. _Luckily it was late and the streets were deserted and she was able to sail right through a set of red lights without a problem.

~0~0~0~0~

As Warren pulled his trousers back on, Beth remained lying in the remains of her coffee table. Part of her was screaming _just take the needle_, a_nything is better than this, _but she knew it was too late for that. Even if she begged Warren for it he would want to continue this beating longer.

Once more she felt the pain of being pulled to her feet by her hair. "Warren, stop!" she cried out, unsure how much more pain she could take. She was dizzy with pain now and her arm was dripping with a quick stream of blood. She guessed it had something to do with the deep laceration, just above the crook of her arm, that had been caused by a sharp piece of wood from the coffee table that she had just been thrown through.

He twisted her round to face him and smiled, satisfied at the damage he had done to her face. _She was a bruised and bloodied mess. _He pressed his lips against her bust lip and kissed her hard, causing her to whimper in pain. He noticed the cuts on her arms and shoulders. from having gone through the table, and he reached down and kissed one of them. Repulsed by his touch she punched him in the face as hard as she could again, even knowing what it would get her.

To her surprise the punch was enough to make him release his grip on her hair…but it didn't give her time to move away from him. He backhanded her face so hard that she toppled right over the couch, landing on the floor behind it with a painful thud.

Warren casually walked round to where she lay. He looked out of the window at the cop car that was still parked there, the two officers still listening to the game. "That's some great protection you got down there." he said to Beth as he moved and stepped next to her.

She was trying in vain to push herself up of the floor but all she do was moan in pain as her body refused to obey her orders to move. "Why are you doing this?" she asked him, choking on sobs.

"Because you saw something you shouldn't have Beth." he told her as he stomped his foot down on her leg, again in the place she had been shot.

Beth screamed in pain and tried to push his foot away but he crouched down and placed his hand around her throat again, this time not squeezing it hard, but doing it to hold her down. "What are you talking about?" she had to ask him.

"The shooting you witnessed… Those were my guys doing what I had ordered them to do. You see, I don't wait around for people to pay me back what they owe me. There are _no_ second chances with me, not even for you, Beth. You told me just how determined you were to get the people who shot you that night and I believe you. But if you get them, you get me. I can't let that happen." he said as he stood up and took a step back from her.

"You're pathetic!" she said angrily as she looked up at him.

"And you were the best fuck I ever had, which is what makes this a _little_ bit harder." he replied before his foot connected hard with her ribs.

She heard a sickening crunch and could lay there, shaking in pain, _knowing the inevitable was now about to come._

~0~0~0~0~

Jo pulled up outside Beth's building and jumped out of her car. She ran over to the cop car and had to knock on the window to get their attention. Immediately the officers sat to attention, swallowing the half chewed doughnuts in their mouths. As one rolled down the window the other turned down the radio.

"When was the last time you did a perimeter check?" Jo asked.

"Everything's okay here detective." the fat officer told her.

"She's upstairs with her boyfriend." the other one said, his mouth still half full of doughnut.

Jo spun round and turned to face Beth's building. She looked right up at her window just in time to see Warren throw a lifeless Beth over his shoulder. "Call for back-up!" she yelled to the officers as she charged towards the building, her heart pounding against her chest.

~0~0~0~0~

Warren threw Beth down onto her bed like she was some sort of rag doll, and climbed on top of her. She was barely moving beneath him. "You'know, if I'd known beating the shit out of you would be this much of a turn on, I would have done it months ago." he said to her.

Beth looked at him, her nose still bleeding over her face and her split lip still bleeding into her mouth. "Go to hell!" she said before she spat at him, splashing his face with her blood, it was the last rebellious act she could do.

Warren just laughed at her as he wiped it away. He reached down and picked the syringe up off the bed. He had Beth pinned beneath him so there was nothing she could do to stop him. "Hell is for junkie whores like you." he said before he grabbed her arm and held it tight as he stabbed the needle into the crook of her arm, much harder than was necessary.

"No!" Beth cried out as tears rolled down her cheeks. By the time Warren had finished emptying the contents of the syringe she could already feel the effects of it in her system starting to work. She felt him crash his lips onto hers and kiss her hard as her tears rolled down her face.

"You should thank me, Beth. I made sure you had the best meth I had." he said as he pushed himself off her, leaving the syringe sticking out of her arm.

With him off her, she reached down and pulled the needle out of her arm and threw it on the floor. Warren reached down and grabbed his shirt and pulled it on, looking at Beth as the effects of the drug began to take over her body. She struggled to try to push herself up, her body was shaking badly. Her breathing had quickened and it sounded like it was struggle to do so. He also noticed how her body was twitching as if out of her control.

"That shit works quick." he said as he knelt down onto the bed and pushed her onto her back again.

His eyes snaked over her body and he thought about how turned on he was still feeling from having beat her. He could feel his cock pressing against his trousers, so, he reached down and began to unbuckle his belt, "How's about one last quickie…" he said to her.

He was about to climb on top of her when he heard the door bang open. He quickly stood up and turned to face Jo as she walked into the apartment, having aimed her gun at him the second she saw him. She then saw Beth lying on the bed behind him.

Beth looked up and saw her, but it seemed like she was looking right through her, not at her. Jo watched Beth as she tried to push herself up off the bed. She could see the physical state she was in, a bloodied and bruised mess.

"Take two steps away from her and get on your knees, then put your hands behind your head you son-of-a-bitch." Jo growled angrily at him.

"There's no need for name calling, Detective." he said as he took two steps away from Beth…followed by two steps towards Jo.

"I'll do a lot more than name call if you don't get on your knees. Now!" she yelled at him.

He ignored her and took another step towards her. "What did you give her?" she asked. seeing the syringe that lay on the floor next to the bed, not to mention the state Beth was in.

"Meth, her poison of choice. Real good stuff too, grade A. Figured she should have the best seeing as it would be her final rush." Warren said casually, as he moved closer and closer to her.

"Get on your knee's Warren!" Jo warned him, still waiting for him to do so.

Beth was lay on the bed, her body twitching and Jo could hear her breathing from where she stood by the door. It was struggled, like she was having difficulty just doing it. She knew Beth didn't have time to waste, and Warren kept moving towards her, so he steadied her aim and pulled the trigger once.

Warren stumbled back as a bullet kicked into his shoulder. He roared in pain and clutched his now bleeding shoulder. Jo grabbed her cuffs ,while still holding her gun aimed at him, and took a step towards him. Without giving her a second to react, Warren lunged at her, his body crashed down on top of hers and knocked her to the floor beneath him. The gun slid right out of her hand as did her cuffs. She tried to reach out and grab her gun but it was just too far away.

"Bitch! Warren growled at her before he punched her in the face.

Jo felt like her cheek was going to explode but she didn't let him see the pain she was in. She turned to face him and continued trying to push him off her, but Warren grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the floor above her head; _his grip was like an iron vice. _"I can see where Beth got her good looks from." Warren said to Jo as he glared down at her.

"Her strength too." Jo said, her words clearly confusing him.

He didn't see Beth standing, shakily, behind him, he just felt her slam the syringe into his neck. He fell sideways off Jo as he pulled the syringe out. Jo rolled onto her side and reached out and grabbed her gun. She turned to face Warren just as he was about to lunge at her again. She wasted no time squeezing the trigger.

_**Bang! Bang!**_

She watched Warren fall back. His body hitting the floor hard and lifeless. She quickly turned to face Beth who had slumped to the floor. Her skin ghostly white and drenched in sweat. She pushed herself onto her hands and knees and crawled over to her, and pulled her up into her arms. "Beth, sweetheart can you hear me?"

Beth could only grab Jo's arm, she was struggling to much to breathe to be able to talk.

"Beth, how much did he give you?" Jo asked.

Beth couldn't respond, she just clutched her tummy as yelped as pain ripped through her abdomen. Her hand gripped around Jo's arm as her breathing became more struggled. Jo stroked her face and noticed how her skin was hot to touch. She knew she was seeing typical signs of a meth overdose.

Beth's heart had began to beat faster and this meant more energy was needed within her body. However, the energy the body wasn't using was being transferred to heat and this was why she was so hot, sweating so profusely. Jo knew that eventually Beth would become dehydrated and the heat, with no way to be released, could cause a dangerous rise in heat temperature. She also knew that as Beth's heart worked harder and harder she was at risk of a heart-attack.

"Beth, Beth, sweetheart talk to me! Stay awake, keep you eyes open." Jo yelled as one of the officers ran into the doorway. "Call an ambulance!" Jo screamed at him and immediately he did so.

Jo touched Beth's face, gently patting it, trying to get her awake. She felt like she was getting hotter, she was certainly sweating more, beads of it dripped over her body and was soaking into Jo's coat. Knowing she had to cool her down somehow she scooped her up and carried her into the bathroom. She turned the shower on cold and carefully climbed into the tub and lowered herself and Beth down and simply let the cold water hit Beth's body as she sat in the tub with her, brushing her hair gently back off her face, looking over the cuts and bruises on her face. It made her angry enough to want to go back out and shoot Warren again, even though he was already dead.

But right now, Beth was her priority and she lay against Jo, whimpering at the cold water that fell over her body, rinsing the blood off her flesh, but not stopping the bleeding. "I know it's cold, baby, but I need to cool you down." Jo told her.

"Don't leave me." Beth begged, her words slurred slightly.

"I'm not going anywhere." Jo told her as she placed a kiss on her head and then rested her cheek against her hair.

"Jo!" she suddenly heard a familiar voice shout.

"MAC!" Jo yelled back.

To her surprise, Mac ran into the bathroom and saw Jo sat under the cold spray, holding onto a Beth who now lay still in her arms, her body just twitching occasionally. "Mac, she's been given meth, a purpose overdose!" Jo cried, her voice dripping with panic. "Where's that ambulance?" she yelled as Mac crouched next to the tub.

As if on cue the officer ran into the bathroom. "There's been some sort of explosion across town. All available ambulances have attended, they said they can have someone here in a half hour." he told her.

"Mac!" Jo cried helplessly, looking up at him, she knew Beth didn't have a half hour.

Mac stood up and scooped Beth up out of Jo's arms. "I'll drive to the hospital!" he told Jo who climbed out of the tub, her clothes dripping wet.

Mac carried Beth all the way down to his car, her petite frame weighing next to nothing in his arms. When they got to his car Jo climbed into the back and Mac then placed Beth onto her lap. Beth's head flopped back in Jo's arms, scaring the hell out of her. She was too still, yet each time her body would twitch it scared the hell out of her more.

She couldn't hold her tears in as the engine roared to life and Mac began speeding towards the nearest hospital. She saw how Beth's face kept twisting up, as if she was in pain. "Mac, please hurry!" she cried.

"Not long, Jo!" he told her as he turned a sharp 90 degree angle at a junction, cutting off cars and coming just inches from ploughing into another car.

They were almost at the hospital when Jo cried out, "Mac, she's stopped breathing!" from the back seat as she tried her best to do CPR. "Come on, Beth, please, come on!" she begged as she began chest compressions. Her hands were shaking so bad she was sure she wasn't doing it properly but she kept it up anyway. She was praying harder than she had ever prayed in her life.

~0~0~0~0~

Mac finally came to a stop right outside the hospital entrance. He jumped out of the car and ran round to pull Beth out. Jo jumped out after him and they both ran into the hospital. Beth lay lifeless in Mac's arms. "We need help!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, desperate for anyone's help.

Both he and Jo were relieved to see a Doctor run over to them. He checked Beth pupils as Mac held onto her. "What's happened." the Doctor asked.

"She's been given an overdose of meth." Jo told him.

"How much?"

"I don't know, she couldn't tell me." Jo told him.

"She took it or she was given it?" the Doctor asked a little coldly as he guided them up the corridor towards the ER.

"What does it matter!" Mac asked, annoyed.

Two young nurses walked over to Mac with a gurney, that he placed Beth down on, they pushed her into the ER. Jo tried to follow but the Doctor stopped her. "You can't go in there." he said.

"I'm her mother." she told him.

"Right now the best thing you can do is wait out here and let me do my job. I promise you I'll let you now as soon as I have any news on her condition."

"Will she be okay?" Mac asked.

The Doctor glanced into the ER where his staff were already working hard on Beth. "Honestly…it doesn't look good." he told them, glancing at Jo. "I'll do my best." he said before he slipped into the ER leaving Jo and Mac to register what he had just said.

Jo burst into tears and had to turn to Mac and grab hold of him so as not to crumple to the floor. Mac held onto her and let her cry into his chest, gently smoothing his hand over her soft hair. "Tell me she'll be okay." Jo begged him.

Mac wanted to say something but he couldn't bring himself to give her hope in a situation that seemed hopeless. Instead he held her tighter and watched over her shoulder as, in the ER, the Doctor tried shocking Beth. He saw the effect it had on her…_none…_

**TBC**

**I think the effects of a meth overdose usually take a little longer to kick in but for the sake of this story they had to work quicker. Although I've put a lot of time in researching the effects of meth use and abuse I may have some of this wrong, so sorry if its not medically correct. :D Hopefully it was entertaining, **_**if that the right word to use. **_

**Thanks for reading, Please review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to everyone who read and a huge thanks to those who reviewed. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine if you've seen them in CSI: NY**

**Chapter 7**

_**Two days later. **_

Jo was sat at Beth's bedside. The small hospital room was silent, too silent. She was trying not to look at all the machines that Beth was hooked up to because when she did she just wanted to cry. Beth had been in a coma since she had come out of the ER. It was now just a matter of waiting for her to wake up, and when she did Jo wanted to be there. She didn't want Beth waking up alone.

She sighed and sat forward and took hold of Beth's hand. She gently brushed her thumb over Beth's bruised knuckles. She liked the thought that Beth had tried to fight back. It made her proud, but at the same time it made her sad that Beth had been in the position where she had had to fight back. Jo felt incredibly guilty for having not gotten there sooner, and protecting her.

She took a deep breath and said, "The day I had you, I was in a hospital room a little like this one." Jo said to Beth, quickly glancing around the room. "It was a cold, rainy day but the moment the nurse put you in my arms none of that mattered. You were so beautiful and you looked up at me like you were trying to memorize my face." she smiled, her eyes filling up with tears.

She placed Beth's hand against her face and then turned to place a gentle kiss in her palm before holding it against her face again. "I let you down that day, you needed me and I gave you away. I promise I will always be there for you from now on." she said, forcing her tears to stay under control.

"Please, wake up, Beth. Please, sweet-heart." she said. Her tears refused to stay under control any longer and they burst their banks as a sob escaped her mouth. She felt a hand rest on her shoulder, immediately recognising the touch she stood up and turned to face Mac.

She stepped into his now open arms and buried her face against his chest as she continued to cry. Mac held her, gently rubbing soothing circles on her back. "It's going to be okay." he told her.

Jo let her tears fall as she held onto him, loving how protected she felt in his arms. After a moment she forced her emotions under control. She had to be strong not just for Beth but for something else she knew she had to do.

"I have to speak to Ellie and Tyler. I still haven't told them about Beth." she said.

"Maybe now is as good a time as any." he said wisely.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo had been trying to work out what she was going to say to Tyler and Ellie since the moment she had hung up from Tyler. She had called Tyler and asked him to come down to the hospital with Ellie. She knew they needed to know about Beth, but the thought of telling them had her petrified.

The time to tell them came when she heard a knock on the door, it then opened and Tyler walked in followed by Ellie. Ellie walked right over to Jo and hugged her tight, Jo hugged her right back. They'd seen very little of each other over the last couple of days. Jo had been home only to change clothes, showers and check in on them. Tyler was the one taking care of Ellie and Jo felt guilty over it.

Tyler walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek that she returned. "So, what are we doing here?" he asked her.

"Is that really Beth?" Ellie asked as she stepped over to the bed, the person in it almost unrecognizable.

"Yeah, sweetie it is." Jo replied.

"Her face is all bruised…" Ellie said. Shocked at what she saw. "Is she just sleeping?" she asked.

"No, honey, she's in a coma. She should come out of it soon though." Jo told her.

"How did she end up in a coma?" Ellie asked.

Jo had to smile at her daughter. She had always been so full of questions. "She was given drugs, an overdose of drugs."

"Given or taken?" Tyler asked.

"She was given it. Someone tried to kill her." Jo told him.

"Mom, look, I don't mean to sound rude but why are we here?" Tyler asked, his questioning grabbing both her and Ellie's attention.

"Guys sit down." she said to them, pointing to the chairs by Beth's bed.

They both did as they were told, both clearly puzzled. "Guys…there's something I should have told you, but truth is I was too scared to." she confessed.

"Mom, what are you on about?" Tyler asked.

"Tyler, you know how you said that Beth was the spitting image of me that night she came over." Jo said. Tyler just looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Mom, what's going on?" Ellie asked, worry in her voice.

Jo turned to look at her daughter who lay in the bed. She then turned to look at her other children who were still waiting for answers from her. "Beth is my daughter. I gave her up for adoption the day she was born. She's your sister." she told them.

They both stared at her, her words seeming to take a moment to register. It was Tyler who spoke first and Jo couldn't help but notice the slight anger in his voice. "And you never thought to tell us this before?" he said as he stood up.

"I never thought I would see her again, then when this case began…"

"Is that why you brought her over to the apartment, to introduce us!" Tyler asked, now clearly annoyed. "What did you chicken out?"

"No! Tyler, I was trying to protect her." Jo said as she walked over to him, she reached up to touch his face, wanting to comfort the hurt she knew he was feeling, but he took a big stride back. "Don't, Mom!" he said, "I need some air." he told her as he stormed over to the door.

"Tyler! Tyler, wait!" she called after him.

"I'll be back in a minute!" he said as he stormed out.

Jo rubbed her temple, trying to put off the headache she could feel coming on. Forcing back tears she turned to face Ellie who was looking down at the floor, tears in her eyes. Jo shook her head, hating herself for being the one to cause her children so much pain. She walked over to her and sat in the empty chair.

She reached up and tucked Ellie's hair behind her ear and said, "I never told you because I didn't think you would ever get to meet her and I didn't want you to always be thinking about the sister you had and didn't know. I know what it's like to live with and I didn't want you two to have to go through that." Jo said.

"I get why you did it, Mom. But I know what it's like to live not knowing someone who is a part of you too, you should have told us."

Jo had to smile. She forgot how wise her youngest daughter could be sometimes. "I'm sorry." she said as she wrapped her arms around her and hugged her.

Ellie hugged her back and asked, "Will she be ok, Mom?"

Jo nodded her head and said, "She's gonna be fine."

"You're sure?" Ellie asked.

"Hey she's one of us, right?" Tyler said.

Both Ellie and Jo turned to the door where Tyler was stood. Jo smiled at him and then watched as he walked over to her. He reached down and placed his hand on her shoulder and flicked Ellie's hair with his other hand, making her laugh. "She'll be fine, you'll see." he said confidently.

~0~0~0~0~0~

_**Two weeks later. **_

Jo had pulled the chair right up to Beth's bed and was lent over it, her head resting on it as she tried to have a quick nap. Her body was screaming in exhaustion, she knew she needed to go home, have a decent meal and a shower and get some rest, but she couldn't bring herself to leave Beth alone.

She pushed herself up and turned to face the door when she heard a knock. She watched as Adam walked in.

"Hey, JD." he said with his usual friendly smile.

Jo smiled back and said, "Hey, Adam."

He looked at Beth who lay in the huge bed, looking so small. Her cuts had healed since the last time he had been here. That had been to bring flowers and also because he wanted to see how she was doing. "How's she doin' today?" he asked Jo.

"She's ok. She seems to have a lot more colour." Jo said turning to face Beth again.

Adam walked over the bed, and looked down at Beth. "Her bruises are almost all gone." he said.

"Yeah, her cuts have healed up real nice. Her arm is gonna take a little longer to heal but she's doing really well." Jo said as she rubbed her tired eyes.

"She looks like herself again." Adam thought out loud.

Jo smiled, she knew Adam liked Beth. She rubbed her tired eyes again and had to put her hand over her mouth to block a yawn that refused to be held in longer

Adam noticed and he noticed how exhausted she actually looked. "Jo, why don't you go home for a while, you look shattered."

"I am, but I don't want to leave her on her own." Jo said as she scraped her hand through her tangled hair.

"I'll stay with her." he said. "I'll let you know if there's any change."

Jo thought about it but she wasn't sure. "I don't know…"

"Jo, I promise I want leave until you're right back in that chair…or the one next to it depending where I'm sat." he said.

Jo smiled and decided she should take his offer. She needed to check in on Ellie and Tyler, it felt like ages since she'd seen them properly. "Okay." she said as she stood up. She walked over to Adam and hugged him. "Thank you." she said as he hugged her back.

"It's no problem." he said.

Jo turned and looked at Beth. She walked over to her and placed a soft kiss on her head. "I'll be back soon." she said to her before she walked over to the door. She hesitated and looked back. She smiled when she saw Adam sat down in the chair, his hand wrapped around Beth's as he watched over her. She smiled and stepped out knowing Beth was in safe hands.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo had been home long enough to shower, order a pizza for her Tyler and Ellie and watch some TV with them as well as help Ellie with her homework. She wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep on couch but she woke up to find she had been covered over with a blanket and smiled knowing it was probably Tyler who had covered her over.

The sound of her phone ringing seemed to wake her up fully. Her heart began to beat faster when she saw called ID_, Adam. _

"Adam, what's up?" she said as she answered.

"Beth's awake!"

~0~0~0~0~

Jo ran up to Adam who was stood outside Beth's room. "What's going on?" she asked.

"I was sat talking to her and she woke up…she remembered my name too." he said with a smile.

"Is she okay?" Jo asked, a little frantic.

"I think so. The doctors pushed me outta the room so they could check her over. They said I had to wait in the relative's room until they knew how she was."

Jo didn't care about waiting, she was about to walk into Beth's room when a nurse walked out. "You can't go in there!" the nurse said to her.

"She's my daughter." Jo told her.

"We have to do some checks first and then you can go back in. Please wait in the relative's room, I promise I'll come get you as soon as the checks and tests are finished." the nurse told them.

Jo just nodded. She didn't want to wait but at least it would give her time to think over what she could say to Beth.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo and Adam were both still waiting in the relative's room almost an hour later. Adam was watching Jo pacing frantically, but he didn't want to say anything to her. They both turned to face the door when the nurse walked in.

"Is she okay? Can I see her now?" Jo asked.

The nurse looked at her and nodded. "She's okay. She's alert, could answer all our questions. She remembers most of what happened, but some of its a little blurry. I'm sure she'd be able to answer your questions better."

They all turned to face the door again as another nurse walked in. She looked at the other nurse and said, "I need a word with you."

The nurse excused herself and stepped out leaving Jo and Adam. They watched and waited for a minute before the nurse stepped back into the room. "I'm really sorry to have to tell you this, but Beth's gone. The nurse went to get her a drink and when she came back Beth wasn't in the room. I'm really, really sorry."

Jo sat down in the chair behind her and dropped her head into her hands. Her mind raced with worry about where Beth could be. She stood up and stormed over to the door. Adam chased after her, "Jo, where are you going?" he asked her.

"To find my daughter!" she told him sharply.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth was walking home, but she had a stop to make first. Having found Jo's bag of clothes in her room and had taken a pair of jeans, a shirt and a pair of pumps out of it. She was walking along, hugging her body, it was so cold. The night air seemed to cut right through her, _she hated winter. _

She was actually taking the long way back to her apartment, part of not even wanting to go back to it. She crossed the street and walked over to a familiar club. The bouncer immediately recognised her and took a step aside for her to walk right in. "Good to see you again, Beth." he called to her as she walked past.

"Thanks, Pete." she said before disappearing into the noisy club.

The club was packed, just as it always was. She made her way over to the bar and spoke to the barman, who instantly recognised her. "Beth! Good to see you, honey."

"Hey, Louie. Have you seen Karl anywhere?" she asked.

Louie gave her a disapproving look but said, "He's here. Up on the balcony." he told her.

"Thanks Louie." she said before she headed off up the stairs to the balcony. She saw Karl who quickly locked eyes on her. He pushed the two girls who were all over him aside and walked towards Beth.

Beth glanced at the girls, knowing they mustn't have been much more than seventeen years old, but Karl could get anyone in any club, for a price. One she had paid many a time and one she knew these girls probably paid.

"Beth! You are looking hot as ever. Is that a broken arm?" Karl said as he placed a lingering kiss just on the side of her lips.

"You look pretty good yourself, Karl." she lied. "And, yeah it is. Think you think you can help an injured girl out?" she asked him.

"I thought you jumped off that wagon." he said to her knowingly.

Beth glanced away, thinking over what she was about to do, _why the hell not _she figured. "Guess I jumped back on." she said.

Karl looked at her and said, "You got more money than you used to have?"

Beth shook her head but smiled seductively at him, "No, but we always managed to work something out before." she said to him.

Karl smiled and nodded. "Indeed we did." he said as he took her hand and led her back down the stairs, across the club and out of the front door.

He led her right past the bouncer, who gave her a disapproving look, and up the alley at the side of the club.

She found herself hesitating a little of the way up it. The last time she'd been in an alley she had almost had the life strangled out of her. "You changed your mind?" Karl asked as he took a loaded syringe out of his pocket and showed it to her.

She looked at the syringe and felt her body itching for it, screaming out for it. She shook her head and took a step forwards into the alley. Karl led her halfway up and put the syringe back in his pocket.

"Karl, what the hell are you playing at?" she asked.

"You can have it as soon as we're done. It's been a while for us Beth. It'd be nice if you were with it enough to play along too." he said to her. "You know I won't mess you around. I never have." he said.

Beth nodded, accepting. The moment she did Karl planted a kiss on her neck. Beth stood with her back pressed against the wall as he continued kissing her. She closed her eyes as he unbuckled her trousers and prayed this would be over with quickly.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo was pacing back and forth in Mac's office. Also in there was Flack, Adam and Hawkes. "I've tried her apartment, the diner where she works….I can't find her anywhere." she said. They could all hear the panic in her voice.

"We'll all take a drive around. We'll see if we can spot her anywhere." Mac said, "Jo, you go back to her apartment, see if she's showed up there yet."

The others all nodded and left, off to drive around looking for Beth. Jo turned to Mac and he couldn't help but notice how sad, how lost, she looked. "We'll find her, Jo." he said encouragingly.

Jo just nodded, praying he was right.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth was almost home, having stumbled her way from the club to here. She wanted to get in and lie down on her couch and do nothing but enjoy the effects of the drug in her system. She was about to cross the street when a car pulled up in front of her. The window rolled down and a man looked through it at her.

"Hey beautiful."

His words sent shivers down her spine and immediately she could hear Warren's voice, saying the exact same words to her, _'Hey beautiful'_

She was about to step around the car when the man asked, "How much you charge?" She bent down and looked into the car, having to hold onto it to keep her upright, at the moderately attractive man. She noticed the expensive car he was driving; the designers watch on his wrist. This guy had money to throw away. "80, my place." she said, her words a little slurred.

The man smiled and opened the door for her, "Jump in." he said to her.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo walked up to Beth's building feeling more nervous than she had ever felt in her life. She pulled the door open and made her way in. She walked up the stairs, still feeling like each one that creaked and groaned beneath her would collapse. She was relieved when she finally made it to the final flight of stairs to Beth's floor.

She noticed the man who passed by her on the stairs, saw the way his eyes snaked over her body. She stopped and turned and watched him disappear down the stairs. She then turned back and stepped up onto Beth's floor. As she looked down the corridor she could see Beth's door was open slightly.

She took out her gun and crept over to the door, her heart pounding in her chest. She nudged it open with her elbow and glanced inside. She looked around and spotted Beth in an instant. She was lay on her bed, face down, the blanket partly covering her naked body.

Jo put her gun away and rushed over to her. She grabbed hold of her and turned her over onto her back. She could see she was out of it. "Beth, Beth, honey talk to me! Come on, open your eyes." she said.

She got no response from Beth, "Sweetheart, come on, please! Oh God, don't do this to me again. Beth…!"

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please review. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the reviews everyone. **

**This chapter contains the song that I named this story after, Holding on and letting go by Ross Copperman. For anyone who doesn't know it, it's actually the song used in the finale at the end of CSI: NY season 7. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine if you've seen them on CSI: NY. The songs not mine either.**

**Chapter 8**

"Beth, please, speak to me, sweetheart!" Jo said loudly. Beth mumbled something but Jo couldn't understand what it was, she could barely hear it. "Beth!" Jo said even louder, gently slapping her face.

Still Beth hardly responded.

"I'm sorry, baby." she said as she slapped her hard across the face.

Beth seemed to pop awake. "What the hell!" she muttered.

She saw Jo and then sighed as she remembered the last face she had seen before she had succumbed to the drug in her system. She groggily turned to the side and saw some money lying next to her on the bed. She clumsily picked up the paper bills and counted. "20 bucks…" she scoffed. "Ass hole." she muttered angrily before she pushed Jo away from her and pushed herself up.

She held the bed sheet around herself as she grabbed some clothes out of her wardrobe, trying to ignore Jo who she knew was staring at her. She cast a quick glance at the clothes on the floor by her bed, Jo's clothes. The clothes she had taken from her bag at the hospital. She threw her own clothes down on the end of the bed and scooped up Jo's shirt, jeans and pumps and walked over to her. She dumped them in Jo's arms then turned to fetch her own again.

She turned when she heard Jo throw the clothes down onto the couch. "Do you really think I care about getting my clothes back right now?" Jo scoffed.

"I don't know what you care about. I just know it's not me." Beth said matter-of-factly to her.

With her clothes in her hand she crossed over to the bathroom, quickly glancing at Jo. She saw the look on her face, the pain, the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She walked into the bathroom and kicked the door shut behind her.

Jo sighed, feeling a little sick. She knew what she had almost walked in on and hated what she had walked in on, _Beth under the influence of drugs_. It made her feel sick that Beth had sold herself for money, probably money that would fund her next fix.

In the bathroom, Beth pulled her shirt on and caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. She saw the healed cuts on her shoulders, her chest. Saw the healing gash on her arm, she softly traced her fingers over it. Images of Warren throwing her through the coffee table flashed before her eyes, the sound of the cheap wood breaking beneath her seemed to deafen her. Her cries of pain when he punched her in the stomach rang through her head and she placed her hand on her side, feeling the pain as clear as she had then.

She quickly turned the tap on and splashed cold water on her face, trying to wash away the memories. She stood up and found herself looking at her reflection again. She hated the face staring back at her, the vacant dark eyes. It was the face and the eyes of a person she thought she had left in her past, but she was finding they were here again, tormenting her, trying to take over once more. _She turned the tap back on and splashed more water on her face._

A few minutes had passed by when Jo looked up from the floor as the bathroom door opened and Beth walked out, now fully dressed and looking a little fresher and a little less drugged up.

Beth looked at her and noticed that she still had the same disappointed look on her face. Unable to take _it_ or the silence any longer she asked "What?"

Jo forced her tears back and asked. "You told me you'd stopped taking drugs."

"I had." Beth said as she pushed past her and walked over to the kitchen sink.

"But what, you just figured you would start up again?"

"Well we have Warren to thank for that, don't we?" Beth said as she poured herself a glass of water and took a long swig from it.

"Warren's dead. He didn't make you take whatever the hell you took today."

"What can I say, once an addict always an addict." Beth said, pushing past her again.

"What about the man you just slept with for twenty bucks? The one I passed by on my way here!"

Beth spun round to face her and said angrily, "It was supposed to be more!" She glared at Jo and suddenly laughed. "Guess he just told me what I was really worth."

"It doesn't matter how much it was for, why did you do it?" Jo asked.

"You know what, this really has nothing to do with you!" she said.

"Yes it does!" Jo told her matter-of-factly.

"Why because you're a cop and you're gonna arrest me for it?" Beth mocked as she turned away from her.

"No because I'm your mother!"

Beth stopped dead and turned to face her again, "Don't you dare! Don't you dare try to play that card, Jo! You didn't want to be my mother, remember? As far as I'm concerned I don't have a mother." she said coldly. "I never have." she added.

Jo tried to push the comment aside and said, "It was never about me not wanting to be your mother. I'm sorry that you never had the life that I wanted for you and I know it's my fault."

"Oh so you do take responsibility? Good to know that you will for some things, just not a new-born, right?" Beth said harshly.

"Stop it! I made what I thought was the right choice." Jo argued.

"Yeah and so did I just now." Beth snapped.

"You think that taking drugs and prostituting yourself out to scumbags like that man is the right choice to make?"

"Looks like we're both screw-ups, guess I inherited it from you. You know what else, I don't have the luxury of having a lot of choice in my life because I'm kinda limited to the men I can go with, because the good men out there aren't interested in screwing a poor junkie whore like me." Beth snapped.

"That's not who you are!" Jo said as she stepped up to her.

"You don't know me!" Beth screamed at her as she stepped back, away from her. "You know nothing about me!" she said as she stepped over to window.

"I know that you have been through so much stuff that you never should have." Jo said as she followed Beth over to the window. "You spent your life alone and abused, and you lost Alice, the only friend…"

"Don't you dare talk about her!" Beth yelled angrily at her, her eyes filled with tears of hurt. "You _don't_ get to talk about her." she said in a warning tone. She swiped away the tears that rolled down her cheek.

"Beth, please don't be angry with me, I want to make this all up to you." Jo said.

"I don't care!" Beth snarled.

"Beth, please?" Jo begged as she tried to reach out and hold Beth's hand.

Beth pulled back from her. "I think you should leave." she said.

"No, I want to talk to you. We need to sort this out."

"No we don't. This is who I am, Jo!" she said. "I'm sorry if that disappoints you."

"Beth, you could do anything you want with your life, be whatever you want to be…"

"Oh what the hell would you know!" Beth yelled at her as he tears threatened to fall again. "You think that because Tyler is in college and that Ellie will probably go that I could! I didn't have the liberty of going to school and getting an education. I didn't have the support of loving parents. Instead I got abused in every way possible!"

"Not a day went by when I didn't think about you, and there isn't a moment since meeting you and knowing what you've been through that I don't feel guilty…"

"Good, I want you to feel guilty!" Beth snapped bitterly. "Wait, is that why you adopted Ellie, because you felt guilty that give your first daughter away?" Beth asked.

Jo looked at her and shook her head as she said, "No, she needed me…"

"I needed you!" Beth screamed at her, her voice breaking into sobs that she struggled to control. She didn't have the energy to keep up the tough girl routine anymore. She wanted Jo to know how she really felt. "I needed a mother! I needed someone to be there for me, to take care of me and protect me!" she said as her tears fell.

"I'm sorry." Jo said as her own tears began to fall. She tried to take a step closer to Beth but once more she moved away.

"You don't get to come and play mommy dearest now. You gave up that chance when you gave me up." Beth told her.

Jo could only look at her as her tears began to fall. "I'm so, so sorry." she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Beth looked back at her for a moment before she looked away and shook her head. She said, "I want you to go…" She turned to face her again and added, "And don't ever come back." she said.

Jo looked at her for what seemed like forever before she could only nod. If she tried to speak she knew it would be only sobs that escaped her lips. She turned and walked over to the door. She stopped when she reached it and gulped hard, pushing her sobs back down. She said, "If you ever need me, for anything, you know where to find me. You might not believe it, but I never stopped loving you and I never will."

Beth just turned away from her not wanting Jo to see her tears. Jo stepped out and shut the door behind her. As soon as Beth heard it close she crumpled to her knees on the floor and began sobbing out loud.

_**Is anybody out there?**_

_**Is anybody listening?**_

_**Does anybody really know if it's the end of the beginning**_

Jo made it half way down the first flight of stairs before she had to grip the wall with one hand and cover her face with her other as her tears began to fall. She too crumpled to the floor, crying uncontrollably.

_**The quiet rush of one breath is all we're waiting for.**_

_**Sometimes the one we're taking, changes every one before.**_

~0~0~0~0~

It was just the next night when Beth found herself standing outside the bar in which she knew she would find Karl. She wanted another fix and was ready to do whatever it took to get it. She walked over to the stairs and made her way up them past Pete, the bodyguard.

"Hey Pete." she said quietly, feeling ashamed of herself.

"Hey, Beth. You taking care of yourself?" he asked, stopping her dead in her tracks.

She turned and looked at him and shook her head. She looked up at the sign of the bar and took a step backwards. "See you round, Pete." she said as she walked away preparing herself for the struggle ahead.

_**It's everything you wanted. It's everything you don't,**_

_**It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed.**_

~0~0~0~0~

Jo walked through the lab carrying a file retaining information on the newest case she was working on. Luckily it was proving to be a simple open and shut case which she was more than thankful for because she couldn't seem to keep her mind from wandering back to Beth. Thinking about their last conversation brought fresh burning tears to her eyes.

She hesitated, trying to regain her composure, before she walked into the lab to face Hawkes and Lindsay who were working the case with her.

_**Some prayers find an answer, and some prayers never know. **_

_**We're holding on and letting go.**_

~0~0~0~0~

_**Two weeks later. **_

The days and nights seemed to pass by quickly over the next two weeks. Beth had proudly been clean for the whole two weeks. She'd managed it again and she didn't plan on going back ever again.

Things were tough for her at the moment. She was now only working one job and so had even less money than before. She was starving for a meal and could only afford cheap takeaways that tasted as nasty as they looked.

So it was a cold New York night when she was stood by a hot dog stand, _all she could afford tonight._ She turned when she heard a familiar voice say, "Can I interest you in some real food?"

"Adam." she said with a smile.

"I was going to grab some pizza at my favorite Italian place if you'd like to join me. You'll save me from looking all lonely and pathetic." Adam said.

"Wow, Adam, you really know how to ask a girl out on a date, don't you?" Beth teased with a friendly smile.

"Sorry. Let me start again…" he said, a little flustered. "I'd really like you to join me for a meal, my treat." he said with a smile that gave Beth butterflies.

She nodded and said, "I'd really like that."

Adam smiled like he'd won the grand national and together they began walking down the street. Adam casually slipped his hand around Beth's. She could only laugh and hold on to his.

_**Sometimes we're holding angels, and we never even know.**_

_**Don't know if we'll make it, but we know we just can't let it show.**_

They had eaten their meal and were now enjoying the desserts. They hadn't stopped talking and laughing the entire time they had been at the restaurant. Beth was feeling totally comfortable, and more herself around Adam, than she had ever felt around anyone. She dipped her finger into the melted chocolate sauce of her dessert and then wiped it on Adam's cheek, laughing.

Laughing himself Adam did the same to her, making them both laugh more. They didn't even care that they looked like idiots with smears of chocolate sauce on their faces. The only thing they saw when they looked at each other was eyes that reflected the same feeling.

Adam plucked up the courage to lean in and place a gentle kiss on Beth's lips. It felt so odd to her. No one had ever kissed her like it; it was so tender and loving. She liked it and she found herself kissing him back.

_**It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't**_

_**It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed. **_

_**Some prayers find an answer and some prayers never know**_

_**We're holding on and letting go.**_

Jo was stood on the roof of the crime lab. She was looking over the city that she loved so much. Tonight she saw it differently. She saw it only as a void between her and Beth who she knew was somewhere out there in it, not wanting to speak to her.

_**Yeah we're letting go...**_

She just looked up at the starry sky and prayed that she was safe and happy. She turned when she heard the crunch of gravel next to her. She smiled when she saw Mac. He gave her a quick smile back before he turned to look out at the beautiful city as well.

Only when he sensed her tears falling did he reached out and slip his arm around her waist and pull her close to him. She wrapped her arm around him and as they looked out at the city she let her tears fall.

_**It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't**_

_**It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed. **_

_**Some prayers find an answer and some prayers never know**_

_**We're holding on and letting go**_

~0~0~0~0~

_**2 weeks later**_

"Freeze!" Mac yelled as he pointed his gun at the suspect who was attempting to make a run for it from him and Jo.

The suspect looked at Mac, defeated. He didn't see Jo come up behind him, just felt her slam him down on the bonnet of a car. Mac stood back and watched it play out, his gun still pointed at the suspect, just in case.

"Where did you think you were running to?" Jo asked him.

"Anywhere you weren't, bitch!" he spat at her.

Mac was a little shocked when Jo pulled him up only to slam him back down, hard.

"You have no idea how big a bitch I can be!" she snapped.

Mac couldn't help but think she was acting so out of character. He lowered his gun as Flack stepped in to cuff the guy. Only when Flack had dragged the guy away did he approach Jo.

"Were you purposely trying to break him in two?" he asked her.

Jo just turned to look at him, a look that said she wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"Answer the question?" he said, his tone telling her he wasn't in a joking mood either. "You've had the same attitude towards perp's all week." he said to her.

"So what?" she asked as she began walking away from him.

"So, if you keep trying to beat the hell out of them all then our cases are all going to go to hell too. How do you know that guy isn't going to try to claim police brutality?"

"Brutality is what he did to his victims. Believe me I wish I had shown him a taste of his own medicine." Jo said angrily.

She was about to take another step away from him but he grabbed her arm and stopped her, "Jo, what's going on with you? Is this about Beth?" he asked.

Jo looked at him and wanted to be angry with him for talking about Beth but the sheer concern for her on his face instantly brought tears to her eyes. "Beth doesn't want to see me Mac. She never wants to see me." she told him, taking a deep breath in order to keep her emotions under control.

"You need to talk to her." he said.

"I tried. She hates me, Mac. She blames me for every heinous thing that's happened in her life and she has every right to because I fully blame myself." Jo said.

He could see how upset she was. Although he felt truly sorry for her he knew she was putting herself in danger acting this way around perp's, so he did the best thing he could. "Take some days off, Jo."

"No, Mac!" she said sharply.

"Take some days to get your thoughts straight and start acting like the calm usual Jo you are. You're a danger to yourself like this." he said, genuinely concerned.

"Mac I don't want to take any days off."

"It's not a request, Jo." he told her.

She just nodded. She knew he was right and she knew he was just looking out for her. She appreciated it. She liked him looking out for her. "Fine." she said to him, unable not to smile slightly. "I'll remember this next time you're having a bad week." she said with a smile as she playfully prodded him in the shoulder.

"I'll hold you to that." he said with an equally as charming smile. "See you in a few days, Jo."

She waved her hand to him as she walked away from him. She was feeling hungry so decided she would make a start to her days off with some lunch.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth and Adam were sat in central park. They were finishing off their morning coffee before they both had to head off to work. It was the last place Beth wanted to go to. She hated it, but with her money problems only getting worse she had to take every shift she could get.

She was sat crossed legged on the bench facing Adam who was sat sideways so he could look at her as he spoke to her. Beth took hold of his arm and lifted it up so she could take a look at his watch. She growled in frustration when she realized it was almost time for her to head off to the diner. Adam laughed at her making her laugh too.

"It's okay for you," she said. "You actually like your job."

"Actually I love my job." he said.

"You're lucky." she said before she took a swig of her coffee.

"You remember the other night when you said how you wished you'd finished school?" he said.

She looked at him and nodded, it was a conversation they'd had whilst lying in each other's arm in bed.

"Well, I hope you don't mind but I got you this." he said as he passed her a leaflet.

She quickly glanced over it and looked up at him in confusion. "This is a timetable for a night school?" she said.

"I signed you up. It's a couple of nights a week so you can still work too." he said.

Beth looked at him and smiled, but as reality hit her she had to shake her head. "Adam, I wish I could do this, but I don't have the money to pay for this…I don't have any money to pay for anything. You bought the coffee remember?" she said, trying to laugh off her embarrassment.

"I paid the tuition fees already." he said.

She looked up at him and waited for the punch line. _None came_. He shuffled closer to her and took one of her hands in his. "I know you'll be good at this. Maybe then you can get a job that you actually like and that makes you happy." he said. "I don't mean to sound patronising when I say that…it's just that, well…I love you Beth. I wanna do everything I can to make you happy."

Beth looked at him, her eyes filling up with tears. "It will take me my whole life to pay you back." she said.

"Just promise to stay with me your whole life and we'll call it quits." he said with a smile.

Beth laughed and placed her hand on his face as she kissed him with all the love she felt for him. She pulled away and looked at him, "I love you so much." she told him.

Adam smiled and they both kissed again.

_**It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't**_

_**It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed**_

_**Some prayers find an answer and some prayers never know**_

_**We're holding on and letting go**_

~0~0~0~0~

Jo had taken a seat and looked over the menu, not totally caring about that she ate, not even sure how hungry she was anymore. She looked up at the waitress and smiled before she checked over the menu again, "I'll have the Steak surprise pie." she said.

"Don't have the pie." she heard a familiar voice say. She turned to see Beth standing two tables down. Beth gave the other waitress a nod and they swapped tables. Beth slowly walked over and stood by Jo's table. "The surprise is actually just the lack of steak that's in the pie." she said a little sheepishly.

Jo smiled and nodded and asked, "What else would you suggest?"

"An apology…but that's on me."

Jo looked at her and said, "You don't have to apologize for anything."

"Yeah I do. I was so cruel to you the last time we spoke and it was just because I was hurting. I'd been made to be vulnerable and that's not something I like to be." she told her.

Jo understood. She could see why Beth would always have to appear strong and never vulnerable with the life she'd had. "Apology accepted." she said.

"Look, I finish in like ten minutes, you fancy going somewhere where the food is actually good?" Beth said.

Jo nodded and said, "I'd like that."

Beth smiled back at her, "10 minutes." she said, part of her fearing Jo might actually go without her and she wouldn't blame her after the way she had spoken to her last time they had been together.

~0~0~0~0~

To her surprise Jo was still sat at the table when she finished work, an empty coffee cup sat in front of her. She walked over to her, now changed out of the uniform that she hated with a passion. "You ready?" she asked Jo.

Jo nodded and got to her feet and together they left the diner.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Hope you liked this chapter. Please review. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this has taken a while guys. I'm moving house…again so I've been trying to write chapters to stories between packing boxes. Hope you like this chapter. Just a warning, the drama's not over yet.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 9**

Jo and Beth where sat in a diner drinking coffee that tasted so much better than the coffee from the diner Beth worked at. They also had a bowl of fries in front of them that they were picking at. There had been an awkward silence resting over them for a while but finally Jo spoke up.

"So how have you been?" Jo asked her.

"Good. I'm not using or sleeping with guys for money if that's what you mean?" Beth replied.

Jo just shook her head, "That's not what I meant."

"I know. I'm sorry." Beth said. "I'm not used to being able to say that I'm doing good, but I really am."

"I'm glad." Jo said with a smile. She then thought back to something and asked. "I was speaking to Adam the other day."

Beth smiled and almost began to blush. "And what did he have to say?" she said as she took a swig of her coffee, hiding her smile behind her coffee mug.

"He was just prancing around the lab, grinning like a fool." Jo laughed.

"He does that there too?" Beth asked, chuckling.

"Only since he met you." Jo told her with a little laugh.

Beth could only smile and then say "I absolutely adore him. I love him so much. At first it was a little weird being with someone who actually cares about me, and who didn't leave the money on the bedside table when they were done." Beth said, rolling her eyes. She quickly had to smile again when she thought about Adam, how gentle and loving he was. "I don't want to imagine my life without him in it now." she confessed.

Jo reached across the table and held Beth's hand again, "I'm really happy for you." she said.

"I'm actually moving in with him. Downside to your boss being killed, because he's trying to kill you, is that you lose your job. I only work at the diner now and I earn more oven burns than I do money at that place. I lose my apartment next week and Adam is letting me move in with him. I spend most of the time there anyway."

Jo found she could only sit there smiling. It made her so happy to know that things were going well for Beth.

"The other night we were talking and I told him that I'd love to be able to go night school or something to get the qualifications and stuff to be able to do a job like his. So I could help to put the scum bags away, and this morning he tells me he's paid for me to go to start a course. I've never met anyone like him. I've never met anyone who actually cares about me other than him…and you."

Jo just nodded. "I really do."

"Thanks." Beth said, smiling at her.

"So, it sounds like you really have your life in check." Jo said.

"For the first time ever," Beth scoffed. "But there is just one thing missing that I'd like…."

Jo looked at her, a little confused. "what's that?"

"I want you in my life. I lied to you when I told you I never wanted a mother, but I wasn't lying when I said I needed you._ I do. _I need advice on how to not screw up again. I want to know what it's like to have a mother who smothers you with love and care and who tells you the guy you're seeing is a loser and that you could do better." Beth said.

"I can' help you with that…"Jo said as she shook her head. Beth looked at her, her heart ready to break, but then Jo grabbed her hand and added, "I love Adam, I think he's so good for you and I know he loves you." she said.

Beth finally released the breath she was holding. "Phew! I thought you meant you didn't want to be my mother."

"I'm always going to be your mother, Beth. Always have, always will." Jo said.

"Good, because I really want to know what it's like to be a part of a family. I want to get to know my brother and sister, but never give them big-sisterly advice." she said laughing.

"I know they'd like to get to know you. Ellie's always wanted a big sister." Jo replied.

Beth sighed, relieved. "You know I'm really glad I bumped into you today. I kept wanting to come to the lab to see you to say all this. I nearly showed up at your place a whole bunch of times…but the truth is I'm a coward. I was a coward the day you told me you were my mother. I was a coward the day you tried to take care of me…I was just so scared that you would get to know me and then…wish that you hadn't." Beth said sadly.

Jo reached across the table and placed her hand on Beth's. "There's not a day that went by when I wouldn't think of you and I can promise you now, that there will never be a day when I wish that I hadn't met you."

Beth nodded and smiled. "So you think you might wanna meet up with me again some other time this week?"

"Are you kidding, I don't plan on letting you leave today." Jo said making them both laugh. She looked at Beth with a huge smile on her face. "In fact tonight you, Adam, I, Tyler and Ellie are all going out for food. My treat." she said.

"Sounds like a plan." Beth said with a huge smile.

~0~0~0~0~

Leo was sat in the back of the police car. He was stuck in shackles but it didn't bother him. They were on the way back from his appeal hearing, which, to no surprise, had been a complete waste of time. He was all ready and prepared for what he knew was about to happen. That didn't mean that it still didn't hurt like hell.

The black van slammed into the side of the car so hard at the junction that it flipped it right over before it scraped along the floor. The sound of metal scraping against the floor was almost deafening. Finally it came to a stop.

Leo spat the blood out of his mouth and looked up when he felt arms reach in, unbuckle him and pull him out. He was unable to walk with the shackles on so his men carried him over to the black van and helped him in. It sped off as the door slammed shut behind him.

Whilst one of his guys attacked the shackles with some chain cutters another guy pressed a cloth down on the gash on his forehead. "How's freedom feel?" one of them asked Leo.

"Great! Have you been keeping tabs on Beth?" he asked.

"Sure have. She's got herself a boyfriend and is working all the hours available at the diner. You really still wanna go after her?" one of them asked.

"If I'm going down for life, then I may as well take out the bitch that sent me down." he said. "What have I got to lose?"

~0~0~0~0~

Beth was walking along with Adam, hand in hand. They were walking home from the restaurant where Jo had taken them all out for diner. Jo had even invited Mac who had happily accepted the invitation. Beth was also telling him how much she was looking forward to moving in with him and starting night school. "You'know, if you had said to me a couple of months ago that my life would be this good I would have laughed in your face." Beth told Adam.

"If someone had told me I would have a gorgeous girlfriend and possibly the best looking roommate ever I would have laughed in their face." Adam replied.

Beth could only laugh and step in front of him so she could kiss him. Adam wrapped his arms around her waist and guided her backwards. They walked like this for a moment as they kissed but the sound of a van speeding up the street made Beth pull away.

She and Adam watched as the van screeched to a stop next to them. The side door slid open and two loud bangs seemed to deafen both Adam and Beth. Beth tried to grab Adam as he stumbled backwards groaning in pain. As soon as she was ripped away from him he fell to the floor, clutching his side.

"Adam!" Beth screamed as she was dragged into the van.

Adam tried to push himself up but pain seemed to immobilise his body. He placed his hand over his stomach where his blood seeped through his fingers. Again he tried to push himself up but the pain was too much. "Beth!" he cried out his voice as weak as his body.

Beth was slammed against the floor of the van. She tried to push herself up but it was no good, too many hands were holding her down. She quickly looked around and saw a crate of beer by the open door. She kicked out at it as hard as she could and sent it crashing out of the van. She felt a hard fist connect with her face, followed by the screech of the door sliding shut again. As the van sped off down the street another fist connected hard with her face, knocking her out cold.

Adam rolled onto his side and tried to push himself but the pain in his stomach and his shoulder stopped him. He tried to drag himself along the floor but again the pain was just too intense and seemed to be ringing in his head. He watched as the van turned a corner. He tried to memorise the plate but it was no good, he could only get part of it.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell-phone, the screen of which was now smashed from him having landed on it. Luckily it still worked and he wasted no time in dialling Mac. "Mac, they took Beth!" he said the second Mac answered. "They shot me, but they took her. Someone's got Beth!" he said, panic evident in his voice.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please leave a review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for the reviews. Sorry this has taken a while. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 10**

Jo was stood in the ambulance leaning over Adam who was refusing to go to hospital, claiming he was okay even though he obviously wasn't. Jo could clearly see the pain etched on his face, but she could also see the worry and what she knew was guilt.

"I should have done more." he said to her, his voice a little raspy.

"You took a bullet, Adam. You called us here to the scene. We'll find her and that will be because of you." Jo said feeling more confident than she actually felt right now.

"We have to get him to surgery." one of the medics said urgently.

"Have to find Beth…" Adam muttered before he took a gulp from the oxygen mask he had been offered. His voice was weak, almost too quiet for them to hear.

"Adam, you're going to hospital!" Mac said from where he stood just outside the ambulance, looking in. "You're going to have surgery and by the time you wake up we'll have Beth back." Mac told him firmly.

"You promise?" Adam asked, looking him square in the eyes.

Mac looked right back at him and saw his eyes were filled with tears of pain and worry. "I promise." Mac told him.

Adam still didn't want to go to surgery knowing Beth was somewhere and in trouble, but he trusted Mac. He nodded his head and said, "Let's go." to the medic.

Mac helped Jo climb out of the ambulance. The other medic then slammed the doors shut and ran round and jumped back into the driver's seat. The sirens blared to life and seconds later they were watching the ambulance speed off up the street.

Mac placed his arm around Jo and gave her a reassuring hug. "God, Mac, I should have insisted on giving them a lift home!" Jo said feeling incredibly guilty.

"They wanted to walk, Jo." he told her.

"Where the hell is she?" Jo sighed.

They both looked up when loud sirens raced towards them. They knew the car the moment they saw it so neither of them was surprised when Flack climbed out but it startled them the way he all but ran over to them; a telling look on his face.

"Flack?" Jo said, knowing he had something to tell them, and something was telling her it wasn't good news.

"What's going on?" Mac asked him.

"I've just been told that Leo escaped custody today." he told them.

"Leo as is Warren's second in command?" Jo shrieked.

"Yeah, that Leo! They didn't think to tell me until now." he said, anger in his voice. "He's been on the run for hours. The two officers who were transporting him are both in critical condition... It's not looking good. How the hell he survived I don't know!"

"He has her, Mac!" Jo said, her voice breaking with emotion.

Mac turned to face her and saw the tears that had built in her eyes and were about to burst their banks. He stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him. He could feel her body shaking as she cried. They all knew that if Leo had Beth, they could already be too late finding her.

~0~0~0~0~

Leo was stood in the middle of the semi-empty storage room, his hands behind his back. Only a few shipments had come in since Warren had been killed and Leo's men, who were now occupying the warehouse, had happily drunk it but some remained. Leo had changed out of his prison gear into a stupidly expensive white suit. He felt quite the part as he stood there waiting for Beth to be brought to him.

He had to smile when the large creaky door opened and two guys dragged a kicking and yelling Beth in. They dragged her right over to him and pushed her to her knees with such force she fell flat on her face. She was unable to stop it as her hands were tied with sharp scratchy rope behind her back.

She managed to push herself up onto her knees where she glared angrily at Leo for a moment, then she got to her feet. She wanted to say something, try to squirm her way out of this but before she had time to speak she felt a hard heavy blow to her stomach.

It sent her crashing to the floor. She was too winded to cry out in pain, she could only make struggled attempts to catch her breath. When she finally could a whimper of pain escaped her lips. "Get up, Beth!" Leo told her.

She had no intention of listening to him until his foot connected hard with her stomach. "Okay!" she cried out, somehow managing to swallow down the pain.

She struggled, but she managed to get back to her feet. "Leo, please! Come on… You and I are friends." she tried.

"We were friends, Beth! But then you went and opened your big mouth to the cops about me and now I'm facing life in prison! Because of you Warren is dead. My best buddy is gone forever!"

"I'm sorry." Beth said.

Leo shook his head at her. "No you're not. Not yet," he replied. "…but you will be once me and the boys are done with you."

Beth looked at him, not liking the way he looked back at her. "Hold her down boys." he said as he ripped off his jacket.

Beth could do nothing to stop the fall as her legs were kicked from beneath her. She landed on the floor but immediately tried to push herself up but five strong pairs of hands seemed to grab at her, pinning her down. She knew what was coming and through fear all she could do was scream.

~0~0~0~0~

Lindsay was going over the scene where Adam had been shot and from where Beth had been abducted. She was paying particular attention to the crate of broken bottles. She was searching through the pile of broken of glass when a label caught her eyes. She grabbed it with the tweezers and held it up.

She shone her torch on it to get a clearer look at what was written on the label. "I think I found something!" she yelled.

Jo, Mac, Danny and Flack all ran over to see what she had.

"It's an address, and it has Warrens name on it. I found it in this pile of broken beer bottles." she told them.

"Is it for the bar?" Jo asked

"No, it's for a warehouse, a storage place. It's out on the docks."

"That's not far from here." Flack said as he read the full label.

"Let's go!" Mac shouted to the team.

They all ran over to their cars and jumped in. Jo jumped in with Mac and at full speed they headed off to the warehouse, somehow knowing that _was_ where they would find Beth.

~0~0~0~0~

Leo and his men were all stood round watching as the last guy finished off his "turn" with Beth. He was the sixth one to have abused her and she prayed they weren't going to have a second shot because she couldn't take it. She was beaten, bloody and bruised and her body felt numb, she felt like she was out of it, which in a way was good.

Finally the man relieved himself inside her. He got up just seconds later and zipped himself up. Beth could only stay lying on the floor. She had no strength to push herself up. The men had stopped holding her down after they realised she was too weakened to fight back or struggle against them.

She rolled over onto her side, wanting to hide as much of her naked body from them as she could. She looked up and watched Leo say something to one of the men stood next tom him. She couldn't hear what he was saying, her head was spinning in pain as the numb feeling in her body had now totally worn off and she could feel everything.

She wanted to try to stand but she doubted she would be able to, that still didn't mean she wasn't going to try. She didn't want Leo or his men to think they had beaten her down. It was hard work and it hurt like hell, but she was able to push herself up and even managed to stay standing, even though her legs shook like jelly beneath her.

Leo found it amusing. He knew that she was showing him she was stronger than he thought she was. He just laughed and then delivered a punch right in her face, the force of it was so hard it knocked her right off her feet and with a smack she landed hard and unconscious on the floor.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks to those who left a review and to anyone reading. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**Chapter 11**

Flack was driving ahead of the others. He was well above the speed limit but that still wasn't fast enough for Jo who was in Mac's car with him, right behind Flack's. Any closer and they would have been inside Flack's car.

"Why is he going so slow?" Jo asked, her heart pounding so hard against her chest she thought it might bust its way through.

"He's well above the speed limit." Mac told her.

Jo turned to look out of the window and shook her head. "Beth doesn't have time to waste." she said.

Mac knew she was right. He knew full well where they were going and so pulled out and took over Flack as he floored it.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth hadn't heard Leo's men come back into the large room, she just felt them throwing something at her, something cold and wet. It was only when the strong smell hit her that she realised what it was, rum…

As more was thrown at her, directly on her face, she couldn't help but cough. She felt like she was drowning in the stuff but still they kept pouring it over her, for what reason she had no idea. That was until she heard the 'flick' of a lighter being struck.

She looked up and saw Leo stood there lighting a cigarette in his mouth but instead of blowing the flame out once his cigarette was lit, he continued to let the flame burn.

"I figured that, if I'm going down for life, I may as well take you out too." he said to her. "What's one more life sentence?"

Beth suddenly knew why she had been doused in rum. He was about to throw the lighter at her when, with a loud bang, the door to the room burst open. Beth looked around and saw Mac and Jo run in, both armed. _Thankfully Leo's men weren't._

"Get down on the ground! Hand's behind your head, NOW!" Mac ordered.

The men did, all except Leo who continued to stand over Beth, the lighter still burning away in his hand.

"Get to the floor!" Mac warned him.

Leo shook his head. Mac steadied his gun, making sure his aim would be a good one. "You shoot me and this lighter falls out of my hand and onto rum soaked Beth here." he told them.

Jo cast a quick glance at Beth who lay on the floor. Beth looked back at her and Jo saw how beaten she was, the fact that she was naked told Jo what she had been through, her blood stained and bruised thighs only proved it.

"Put the lighter away, Leo." Mac ordered as he and Jo slowly inched forward.

"Stay back!" he yelled at them, lowering the lighter towards Beth.

Beth tried to drag herself away from him using her elbows but a swift kick to her ribs stopped her in her tracks. With a yelp of pain she simply gave up, she could only pray that Mac and Jo could get her out of this mess, alive.

"Put the lighter away!" Jo yelled. "Step away from her."

"You're her Mom, right?" Leo said knowingly.

Jo just nodded. They all heard the others cars pull up outside and Leo knew he was running out of time.

"You're about to watch you daughter burn to death." he told Jo as he held the lighter over Beth.

Using the strength she didn't think she had left in her Beth kicked out at him, he fell backwards away from her as a shower of bullets buried themselves into him. Beth lay there, praying the bullets wouldn't hit her.

She glanced up to see Leo lying by her, his body lifeless as the lighter in his hand. That still didn't stop Mac from kicking it away from him. Jo came to kneel next to her, she as more than thankful hen Jo pulled her on coat off and placed it over her, covering her beaten naked body. She only felt truly safe when she felt Jo rap her arms around her. "You're safe now." Jo told her.

"Mom." Beth muttered.

The simple title shocked both Jo and Beth, but Jo smiled and said, "I'm here, baby."

"Can you get me out of here please?" Beth begged her.

Jo looked up and Mac who walked over to Beth, he knelt down beside her and asked, "Is it okay for me to carry you, Beth?"

Beth turned to him and nodded, she liked Mac. She knew he wouldn't hurt her. Mac first pulled his coat off and placed it over Beth for extra warmth for her, he then scooped her up.

The others came into the room, along with other officers, in time to see Mac carrying Beth towards the door, Jo walking protectively next to him. The officers wasted no time in arresting all the men. Jo and Mac were focused on getting Beth to hospital.

~0~0~0~0~

Beth was lay in a hospital bed, something she was rather getting used to. Jo was sat by her side, holding onto her hand, her thumb softly brushing over the bruise around Beth's wrist. Beth watched as she did this. Jo watched as she suddenly winced and groaned in pain.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" Jo asked her.

Beth shook her head and said, "The pain is somewhere else." She tried to shuffle in the bed but Jo watched the same pained expression grow on her face, heard the same pain filled groan escape her. She knew where the pain was coming from that Beth was feeling.

"Why don't you see about getting that pain medication?" Jo said to her, helping her get comfy again.

Beth shook her head, "No, no, pain meds." she said.

Jo just nodded and sat back down. She had to smile when Beth moved her wrist back into her hand. Jo continued gently brushing her thumb over Beth's bruises, something that made Beth smile. They both turned to the door when they heard a knock. Mac walked in pushing Adam in front of him in a wheelchair.

"I'll let you two talk." Jo whispered to Beth who simply nodded.

Mac pushed Adam right over to Beth's bed. Adam nodded a _'thank you' _to him and smiled at Jo before she and Mac both left.

"Thank God you're okay." Beth said to him.

"It takes more than a bullet or two to keep me down." he said to her as he sat forward and took hold of her hand, immediately seeing her bruised wrist. He glanced at the other one and saw the same tell-tale bruise.

"They tied my hands behind my back." she told him, knowing he was looking at her bruises.

Adam looked up at her. He reached up and gently brushed his fingers over her bruised face, over the gash on her cheek. "I wanted to stop them." she said to him as tears began to fill her eyes. "There were too many and I couldn't fight back." she blurted out as her tears began to fall.

Adam pushed himself up out of the wheelchair and climbed up onto the bed next to Beth. He cuddled right up next to her and placed his arm over her. She wrapped hers around him as her tears continued to fall.

He stayed that way and just let her cry. After a moment he said, "I'm so glad I have you back. I don't know what I would have done without you." he said to her, placing a soft and loving kiss on her head. "I love you." he said to her.

"I love you." she said back as she nestled her face against his chest.

Together they began to drift off to sleep in one and others loving arms.

**TBC**

**Only one chapter left after this. Was going to stop with this one but had an idea for the next chapter so figured I'd go with it. **

**Please let me know what you think.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks to everyone who read this story and a huge thanks to anyone who reviewed or added alerts and things. **

**I'm sorry this final update had taken a while. I just hope it was worth the wait.**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

**Chapter 12**

_**One year later.**_

Adam was pacing back and forth in Mac's office. Mac could tell he was nervous and it made him smile.

"So you'll make sure that everyone will be there, at the bar?" Mac was about to answer when Adam began again, "It's just I need everyone there on time. Then I want Jo to arrive with Beth. I've asked Jo and she said that was ok. Beth has no idea what it's about so don't tell her. Jo said she wouldn't' t either." he said. Once more Mac went to answer but Adam began chattering on again, "Don't tell anyone actually, I want it to be like a surprise. I mean I know it doesn't really matter if the guys aren't surprised, but Beth had to be, and well Danny has that face, you know'… that face…" Adam said as he held his own hand over his face.

Mac just looked at him a little confused. After a moment he shook his head, he'd never seen Adam so nervous. "I will make sure everyone is there, and none of them will know a thing." he said, trying to reassure him.

"Okay." Adam said, smiled and nodded. "Do you think Jo will definitely show up with Beth?" he asked anxiously.

Mac just rolled his eyes and pushed himself up from his desk, he was outside the door before a rambling Adam even realised he'd moved.

Suddenly he did notice, "Ooh, Mac, wait!" he called as he chased after him.

~0~0~0~0~

Jo was leaning against the wall just besides the bathroom door. She checked her watch; five minutes of silence had passed. "Well, have you done it yet?" she called out.

She pushed herself up when the door opened. Beth stepped out and held up a small box. "I can't do this." she said.

"It's easy. You just hold it there and pee onto it."

Beth shoved the pregnancy test kit into Jo's hand. "What do I do if this thing says I am pregnant?" she asked.

Jo just laughed and wrapped her arms around her daughter. Beth hugged her back, resting her head against Jo's chest. "I'm scared." she confessed.

"It is scary, but you won't be alone. You have me and Adam who will be thrilled, trust me."

Beth stepped back and looked at her. She smiled and said, "Thanks Mom."

Calling her Mom was a fairly new thing but both of them liked it. It always made Jo smile to hear it which made Beth smile. _Jo's smile was contagious._ Beth took a deep breath. "I have no idea how to even change one of those diaper things." she said.

Jo just laughed and gently pushed her back into the bathroom. "I'll teach you." she said as she pulled the door shut.

She stood there, outside the door, and waited. She listened but heard nothing. "Are you doing it?" she asked after another minute.

"I'm trying?"

"Sweetheart, you just pee."

"I can't pee on it because I know it's there…I'm too well trained!" Beth shot at her.

Jo just laughed. "Turn on the tap, let the water run."

She waited a moment then heard the tap. She smiled as she waited, finding herself becoming more and more excited at the prospect of becoming a Grand'momma.

~0~0~0~0~

The day had gone by quickly, which only seemed to make Adam even more nervous. He walked next to Mac as they headed down the street towards the bar where everyone was meeting.

He held tightly onto the small box in his hand. He shoved it in front of Mac and pulled it open again. "You're sure she'll like it?"

"It's a stunning ring, Adam. She'll love it." Mac replied.

"I just keep thinking maybe it looks cheap."

"Adam, it does not look cheap. It looks amazing."

"Yeah." Adam said as he tucked it into the inside pocket on his jacket.

Adam was clearly nervous. He came to a stop outside the bar and looked at Mac. "Wow, my palms are really sweaty. That's not attractive." he said as he rubbed them against his trousers.

"And now your trousers smell of sweat." Mac joked.

"Oh my God, you're right. Do you think I should go home and change?" Adam asked in a panic.

"No!" Mac said, unable not to smile. "I think you need to check the ring again."

Adam nodded and said, "Good idea."

He patted his left pants pocket and found nothing. He reached over and patted his right pants pocket, _nothing_. "OH NO!" he cried out and he patted his jacket pocket. "Where is it?" he cried out as he spun around and checked the floor.

Mac grabbed him and smacked his inside jacket pocket. Adam immediately remembered putting the ring box in there. "Phew!" he said.

Mac just smiled and pushed him into the bar.

~0~0~

Jo walked down the street towards the bar with Beth, who still had no idea what was about to go on. "I have no idea how I'm going to tell Adam. I mean, we're so close. We talk about everything and anything. After everything that happened the night he got shot and well…you'know…the rape, well we just grew closer. I always figured we'd have kids and everything I just didn't plan on it being so soon. You're sure he'll be happy?"

Jo just smiled and pulled Beth into a hug. "I know he will be." she said before she placed a kiss on Beth's head, "Now let's get inside because it's freezing and there's a beer in there with my name on it." Jo said with a smile.

She took hold of Beth's hand and they walked into the bar together.

Inside Jo walked up to everyone and shared _hello's_. Beth walked straight over to Adam who immediately pulled her into a hug, both of them smiling like fools. Beth loved being in Adam's arms. _She really did feel so safe with him._

Jo walked over to Mac who passed her and beer which she took a greedy swig from before she thanked him. Mac just smiled at her, she really did have an ability to make him smile for the slightest reason.

"So, how's he holding up?" she asked Mac quietly.

"He's nervous." Mac told her.

"That's so sweet. So is Beth." Jo replied.

"Does she know?" Mac asked.

Jo smiled and shook her head. "Let's just say she has an announcement to make too, but not just yet, give it a few months." she said with a telling smile.

Mac caught on to what she was saying and her proud smile was more telling than words. "Jo, are you telling me that Beth is…"

"Pregnant! I'm gonna be a Grand'momma!" Jo squealed with delight, but quiet enough not to draw attention.

"That's fantastic!" he said and gave her a hug, "But there's no way you look old enough to be a grandmother." he said with a smile.

Jo turned to face him and a smile spread across her face. She linked her arm through Mac's and stood close to him as they both watched Adam and Beth.

Beth smiled and kissed Adam, he then did the same thing. She was about to tell him she needed to talk to him when Danny began to tap his and Flack's beer bottles together, getting everyone in the groups attention.

"Okay," Danny began, "What's all this about? I mean I'm happy for an excuse to drink but I'd kinda like to know what's going on." he said as he wrapped his arm around Lindsay.

"Okay." Adam began, "So I wanted you guys all here tonight because I'm about to do something I never thought I would." Adam said. He then reached into his pocket and grabbed the small velvet box.

He concealed it in his hand as he took Beth's hand and got down on one knee. The others all shared the same shocked expression as Beth, except for Mac and Jo of course. Jo could barely contain her excitement.

"Beth, I really, really, love you and I will do anything to make you happy for the rest of your life and I will do everything to prove to you how much I love you, every single day. Please, will you marry me?" he said as he opened the box.

Beth wanted to scream _yes_ but she was speechless. For so long she had thought she was unlovable and now someone who she totally loved and adored was asking her to marry him. She smiled and nodded, it was all she could do until finally she was able to choke out "Yes!"

Everyone cheered as Adam slid the ring onto her finger and then stood up and scooped Beth up into a hug. She clung on around his neck as he kissed her. "You just made me the happiest man in the world." he told her.

"How would you feel if I told you that I found out that I'm pregnant today?" she asked.

Adam pulled back, still holding her up in his arms. He looked at her and asked, "Are you being serious?"

"I did the test earlier on today." She nodded nervously.

A huge smile spread across Adam's face and he began to kiss her again. "That's fantastic!" he said as they held each other close. "I'm gonna be a Daddy." he said, only the two of the hearing what they were saying.

Adam had to put her down as the others all came in for hugs and to offer congratulations. Adam and Beth barely took their eyes off each other. That was until Mac walked over to Adam and Jo walked over to Beth.

"So did you tell him?" Jo asked Beth, talking hold of her hands.

Beth nodded and smiled. "You were right. He's so happy he's gonna be a Daddy."

Jo could only smile and pull Beth into a hug. "I told you, baby." she said as she held on to her daughter.

"Didn't I tell you she would like the ring?" Mac said to Adam.

Adam just smiled back at him. "Okay, so I should have trusted you. I was just so scared she would say no."

"Why would she say no, Adam?" Mac replied with a smile.

Adam couldn't resist, he put one arm around Mac and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks, Mac." he said.

The whole group gathered close together and held their drinks up. Beth managed to wrap both arms around Adam so no one questioned why she didn't have a drink in her hand.

"Congratulations to Beth and Adam!" Mac toasted.

"Congratulations." Everyone said as they all took a swig of their drinks. Except for Beth who could only look forward, to her wedding and to the baby she and Adam would have. Her life was finally good and she wouldn't let it be any other way.

**The End**

**Thanks again to everyone. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to end it all on a happy note so here was my attempt at a happily ever after type ending. Hope it was okay?**


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